Reunions & Revelations
by Myx Nyx
Summary: It wasn’t like Catherine was going to suddenly wake up one morning and fall in love with her. C/S
1. The Deal

Disclaimer: I do not own any part of CSI, characters, eps and all. Its very sad and I do not like to talk about it. :(

**A/N: Hello, hello, one and all! How goes life? So, here is the new fic I've started. I've decided to go ahead and start posting, even though I am still hard at work with Sara's Baby. Don't worry, I will keep chapters coming for it too, this is just a little something I'm working on at the same time- helps the inspiration to keep flowing.**

**Anyway, I hope you enjoy, there isn't really any explanation needed. Pretty straight forward fic- except you know there's nothing straight about it!**

XXXX

"Hey, Sara," Catherine stuck her head into the break room. "Can I talk to you for a sec?"

Sara frowned as she put down the journal she was reading. "Sure…"

"Great. My office? Five minutes? I need to hit the little girls' room."

"Okay, five minutes. Sure thing." Sara sat back, pondering what Catherine could possibly want. If it had been about a case, she would have said so.

She shrugged. It wasn't that uncommon for them to talk about things outside of work these days.

For the last several months, they had been more than friendly; working together better than ever and getting together in their free time for drinks or breakfast. Sara smiled as she thought about it. She had always wanted to be closer to the redhead, and it seemed like her wish was finally coming true. Of course, only Sara knew how much closer she wanted herself and Catherine to be. From the moment she had first laid eyes on Catherine Willows, she knew the redhead could very easily capture her heart. But, she insisted to herself, she could be content with being friends. She'd have to be. It wasn't like Catherine was going to suddenly wake up one morning and fall in love with her.

She sighed, stood from her seat on the sofa, and headed towards the other woman's office. Besides, it was fun being friends with Catherine. She brought out the brunette's playful side. Sara really felt like she could relax around Catherine now. They laughed, and joked around- they had fun together. And that was something Sara seldom got to do. She leaned in the open doorway, waiting for the Catherine to notice her. As she waited, she studied the line of the other woman's jaw and the curve of her neck as she leaned over her papers. After several seconds she knocked on the wall to get Catherine's attention.

"You wanted to see me?"

Catherine looked up, smiling quickly as she indicated the chair in front of her desk. As Sara took the seat, the redhead propped her glasses up on her head and cleared her throat. "Yes, I did. I have a favor to ask of you. A big one."

Sara quirked an eyebrow, pushing the other woman to go on.

"Well, you remember a few weeks ago? How I told you that Lindsey made me get a Facebook account even though I am not allowed to 'friend' her?"

Sara nodded.

"And then a few days later, that girl from my old high school found me?"

"And she told all your high school buddies you had a Facebook and they all friended you too."

"Exactly."

"What about it?"

"Well…" Catherine fidgeted with her pen. "last week, the first woman who friended me told me that a bunch of people from high school were thinking of getting together sometime soon."

"Right…" Sara still had no idea where this was going or why it concerned her.

"And you know how it is, I was sort of going along with it, and before I knew it, I was somewhat jokingly suggesting that we do it here. In Vegas."

A light went on in the brunette's head. "And I'm guessing she didn't think you were joking."

Catherine bit her cheek in annoyance with the situation. "No. She didn't."

"I see. So when is it?"

"Well," Catherine spoke as if she hadn't heard, "they now have a whole four day weekend planned, with cocktail parties and shows and I don't know what all."

"When is it?" Sara asked again.

But Catherine continued on. "And now it looks like there are going to be a lot more people than was originally planned and-"

"Catherine-"

"The whole situation just kind of sucks because what I thought was going to be a lunch with a few old friends is turning into a fucking reunion and I'm in the middle of it because I'm the only one who actually lives here and-"

"Catherine stop!"

The redhead's neck snapped around to look at Sara.

"When. Is. It?"

Catherine glanced at her watch and winced apologetically, "The first get-together is in about six hours."

"What? Seriously?"

Catherine bit her lip and nodded, asking hesitantly "Come with me?"

"What?!" Sara snorted, "You've got to be kidding. That's the favor?"

"Yeah. I know its short notice and I know its not your sort of thing, but-"

Sara stood. "It is so above and beyond not my thing- I wouldn't be caught dead at my own high school reunion, let alone one where I know absolutely no one. Why me?" she pleaded. "Can't you ask one of the guys or something?"

Catherine got to her feet as well. "What? No way." She counted off on her fingers. "Warrick is married and Nick has a girlfriend. I can't possibly show up with Gil- you know how he gets, and please don't suggest I take Greg."

"So I'm your choice by default?" Sara rolled her eyes. "That's flattering."

The redhead scoffed. "That was not what I was trying to say."

"No?"

"No." Catherine ran both hands through her hair. "Look. I cannot go alone. These people are expecting the same old Cathy Flynn they knew in high school. And I'm not her- I've changed, I'm different. I really…" she struggled with the words, "I really need your help on this one."

Sara glanced over at her, feeling her desperation but unable to let the nickname slide. "Cathy?"

The older woman ground her teeth, "I was a kid, okay? Drop it."

"Whatever you want, Cathy."

"I mean it!"

Sara clicked her tongue and shook her head. "Yelling?" she mocked in a maternal tone. "You really think that's going to help you get your way? If that's the way you're going to treat me, no way I do this."

"Is that a roundabout way of saying you'll come?" Catherine brightened.

Sara thought about it and quirked an eyebrow, deciding to have some fun. "Why should I? What's in it for me?"

Catherine crossed her arms. "Are you kidding? You want compensation? How about the warm fuzzy feeling you get by knowing you're helping out a friend?"

Sara crossed her arms too, obviously unimpressed.

"Okay, fine. What do you want?"

"A thousand dollars." Sara said flatly.

"What? No way!"

"I was kidding." Catherine glared at her and she grinned. "Alright, how about you let me do laundry at your house- free, for a month."

"Laundry?" Catherine questioned, confused.

"Yes. The basement of my building has been flooded for a week and they have no idea when it will be up and running again."

"Okay," Catherine agreed quickly, "Fine. Laundry for a month and your attendance for every activity for the next four days. Deal?"

Sara hesitated before nodding, but then she looked at her colleague's pleading eyes and sighed. "Deal."

Catherine beamed and looked at her watch. "Great! The luncheon starts at one, why don't I swing by and pick you up at twelve thirty?"

"Why don't I swing by your place at around eleven thirty?"

"What? Why?"

Sara smiled, "I've got a few loads I'd like to get done."

Catherine gave her a look that said she was clearly not amused. "Fine. Eleven thirty. Sounds great."

XXXX

Later that morning, as Sara stepped into a hot shower, she let her mind wander to the conversation that had transpired a few hours before. She tried to figure out what it meant. The fact that she had given in to Catherine so easily was really pathetic. If she was going to survive this whole friendship business, she knew she'd need to develop some kind of Catherine resistance. But, her brain argued with itself, seeing the smile she put on that angelic face was so completely worth it. She hated to think of what lengths she'd go to, to see that smile even one more time. It was a definite problem.

But, she thought, this turn of events did mean that she'd be spending a lot more time with Catherine, at least for the next four days. And that was a good thing. Wasn't it?

While Sara pondered her newfound predicament in her apartment on one side of town, Catherine was driving Lindsey to school on the other- but her thoughts were all over the place. It had been a good idea, asking Sara to come- hadn't it? Of course it had. Now she would have a friend there who could keep her grounded and help her out of any sticky situations she might get herself into, and she wouldn't be alone with the life she had run away from all those years ago.

But if had been such a good idea, why did she have this feeling in the pit of her stomach that things were not all that they appeared? As Lindsey chattered on about high school drama, Catherine thought about her female colleague. Things had been going really well lately, and their relationship had changed from the way it had once been. There was a time when the older woman had not always felt comfortable referring to the brunette as a friend. Not because she had wanted it that way, but simply because that was the way it was. Now, however, she could honestly say that she liked Sara- more than liked. They were getting to be close friends. And she liked that…a lot. _Perhaps a little too much? _Her mind argued. She slapped that thought away. No. What she and Sara had going was a perfectly healthy adult friendship. And that was exactly how she wanted it.

"Hey, Mom?"

"Hmm?"

"Are you going to that high school thing today?"

"Yep. I'm taking Sara with me."

"Sara? You asked her?"

"No, Linds, I thought I'd throw a sack over her head and drag her all the way there, kicking and screaming."

Lindsey rolled her eyes. "It just doesn't sound like something she'd want to do."

"Well, she agreed to do it." Catherine failed to mention anything about the laundry agreement.

"Huh..."

"What?" Catherine turned her head as they pulled into the school.

"Nothing," Lindsey hopped out and shouldered her messenger bag. "She must just really like you, that's all. I'll see you tonight, Mom." She turned and walked toward a group of friends.

Catherine was left to ponder that comment and the excitement it raised in her.

XXXX

**So how was that? Are you intrigued? Do you crave more? Do you want to know what happens next? Then you know what to do! Press that button like you know you want to, and review review review!**


	2. Laundry Chat

**A/N: Wow! You guys are fantastic! All those reviews made me a very happy girl! So, here is your reward! Chapter 2! I wasn't going to post it until tomorrow, but I figured, what the hay. I hope it puts a smile on your face and all that jazz. :)**

**XXXX**

After three trips back and forth to her car, Sara finally found herself drowning in clothes, towels, and sheets in Catherine's laundry room. Sara busily separated her darks from colors while Catherine leaned against the door, watching. "So," the brunette began, never looking up from her dirty clothes. "Who all is going to be at this luncheon thing? Friends?"

Catherine nodded, "Mostly, and a few wives."

"Anyone I need to watch out for?"

"I don't know the whole invite list. But I know Candace will definitely be there- she's the one who planned this whole thing. She's nice, a bit of an overachiever if you ask me; valedictorian, editor for the school paper, that sort of thing. We were friends growing up, but when we got to high school we sort of drifted apart- hung out with different crowds."

"Candace- overachieving grade school pal. Got it." Sara began tossing her black garments into the washer.

Catherine watched the bras get thrown in with the jeans and tops and gritted her teeth, trying to keep her mouth shut. Sara was a grown woman and she could do her own laundry any way she wanted.

"Who else?"

Sara's voice drew Catherine from her thoughts. "Huh?"

"Who else will be there?"

"Umm…Mary-Kate messaged me that she would be coming, she's a real sweetheart, or at least she used to be. Candace said she's married with three kids now, so you never know."

"A husband and three kids? I'd be suicidal. Or homicidal."

Catherine smirked, "Or both."

Sara shut the washer door and hoisted herself up to a seat on the top. "Alright, so Candace and Mary-Kate. That about it?"

"Oh, I don't know. I'm kind of hoping an old friend, Julie, will be there but I haven't checked the list in a while. I'm not even a hundred percent sure she was invited."

"Good friend?"

"Yeah…the best." Sara watched a far away look appear in her friend's eyes. "She's the only one I kept in touch with after I left- for a while anyway." Catherine stared out the window. She hadn't really meant to bring up Julie, but if she was going to be there, Sara at least needed to know something about her. Still, the memories that flooded her when she spoke Julie's name were not welcome ones and the older woman fought hard to keep a lid on the deep well of sadness and confusion that threatened to overflow. "I think she was the only one, besides my sister, who ever missed me when I was gone." The room fell silent except for the steady swish of the machine.

Sara allowed Catherine a few seconds of reflection before standing and touching her arm briefly. "Well, maybe now you'll have time to catch up."

Catherine smiled weakly and nodded.

"Hey, this little get together, is it by any chance a formal occasion?"

Catherine looked at Sara's faded jeans with the ripped knees, large buckled black leather belt, and navy blue tank top. Then she took in the straps of the other woman's sports bra underneath and swallowed. "It may be a bit more formal than…" she gestured at the ensemble, "that."

Sara smiled. "I thought so. I brought a change of clothes- can I use your bathroom?" But Catherine was staring off into space, or more accurately into Sara's stomach. Sara looked down then glanced sidelong at the other woman. "Uhh…Cath? Earth to Catherine."

Catherine shook herself. "Sorry, just…lost my train of thought. What did you say?"

The brunette gave a half smile. "Can I use your bathroom so I can change?"

"Oh, right. Of course. Its just down the hall, past the kitchen and to the right." Catherine opened the door. "Sara, this is really, really nice of you. You know, if you don't want to-"

Sara picked up her backpack with a half smile. "It's no problem, Cath. I'll be out in a sec. Are you going to wear that?"

Catherine glanced down at her own outfit. "No. I'll run upstairs and be right back."

"See you in twenty?"

Catherine thought about her shower, her makeup routine and her overflowing closet. What the hell was she going to wear? "Better make it thirty."

Sara smiled, "Gotcha."

Catherine looked apologetic. "You're welcome to watch TV, listen to music, make yourself at home. I'll try to be quick."

"Uh-huh. How long should I wait before going without you?"

Catherine stuck out her tongue. "You don't know how to get there, genius."

Sara shook her head and turned down the hall. "I'll be waiting."

In her defense, Catherine did try to hurry. She was quick in the shower, she didn't straighten her hair, and she only tried on eight outfits. In the end, she settled on a tone on tone, lace, champagne-colored dress. The length was conservative and the neckline was only moderately revealing. But the best feature was the fact that it fit her like a second skin. You couldn't have gotten it any tighter if you'd glued it to her body. Not that she was trying to attract attention…exactly. But she had a sneaking suspicion that she would be among the few women who had maintained their figure for after all these years. Sure, she wasn't the skinny kid she'd been in high school, but she looked good- damn good. And if Julie did turn up, all the more reason for her to look her best. At least she would have that on her side. And Sara. Speaking of Sara…Catherine grabbed her earrings off the chest and put them on as she descended the stairs.

"Sar?" Catherine called as she made her way through the house. She found the other woman in the living room. Sara was studying the numerous photos on the wall above and around the television. "Sar?" The brunette turned, and Catherine paused a minute to take in her outfit. Well-fitting, dark blue jeans hung off her hips comfortably, while her cream colored top clung to her in all the right places, not so tight that it was distasteful, but enough that it hinted at what lay beneath. It had thick straps that covered most of Sara's shoulders and a square neckline that, while not deep by any means, showed much more than she ever exposed in the lab.

Sara looked up from her inspection of the other woman and smirked at Catherine's expression. "What? Didn't think I owned anything but work clothes? Contrary to popular belief, I do have a life outside CSI, Catherine."

The older woman opened and closed her mouth. "That's not…I mean-" She regained control of her senses. "I didn't think that, I was just…surprised. You look…different."

Sara laughed nervously and tugged at the hem of her top. "I guess that's a compliment?"

"What? Oh, yeah. You look…" She gave the younger woman another once over. "really good."

That brought a smile to the brunette's lips. "C'mon, we should get a move on if we want to be fashionably late."

Catherine checked the time on her cell. "Shit, is that really the time?"

"Well, if you didn't take so long to get ready…"

"Hey, I cut out every unnecessary step."

"Yeah? How many outfits did you try on?"

"Not that many! Besides, that is besides the point."

Sara chuckled. "That many, huh?"

XXXX

**Well? Remember that this is just the beginning- only chapter two! But not to worry, romance is on its way! And the best way to light a fire under my proverbial ass? Why, reviews, of course! Let's try and beat the record, let's shoot for 17!**


	3. Thoughts in a Box

**A/N: Say you love me! How fast did I get this done? And if you think it means that I have no life so I spend hours on end staring at my computer, you'd only be 98% right! But I changed out of my pajamas today AND left the house, AND applied for more jobs- AND still had time to finish this post. So, there. :P**

**This isn't the most exciting chapter in the world, but it must be done and I hope you like. But believe me, things are about to heat up in the drama/romance division.**

**XXXX**

As they exited the truck, Catherine smoothed her dress nervously. "How do I look?"

Sara did not even look at the other woman as she adjusted her top, "You look fine."

"Fine?" Catherine asked loudly. "That's it? I'm going for a hell of a lot better that 'fine', Sidle. Hot, sexy, beautiful. At least pretty or attractive or something! Anything but fine."

Sara gave her a strange look. "You seriously need to chill out."

Catherine shook herself. "Sorry, I guess I'm just more nervous than I thought."

"I know, it's a new look on you." The brunette smiled gently. "Look, you look good, okay? Better than good. You look…" She gave the other woman the once over. "you know you look great, so don't fish for compliments, its not attractive on anyone."

"Wow. You even managed to turn a compliment into a blow to the ego."

Sara raised an eyebrow, unwilling to give into the dig. "You ready?"

Catherine took a deep breath, "Yes. No, wait- we need a secret signal."

The brunette looked disbelieving. "A secret signal? Seriously?"

"Its in case I need to escape."

"…Okay. What should our 'signal' be?"

"Umm…" Catherine thought a minute. "I have no idea."

Sara sighed. "Okay, how about this. If you need to escape, you ask me if I got an email from somebody."

"Who?"

"It doesn't matter. Grissom, Ecklie, the Easter Bunny, whatever. Just ask me. That will be my cue to go to the bathroom and call your cell."

"Then what?"

"Then you pretend you got a call to go into work, I meet you in the lobby, and we both leave."

"Brilliant!"

"Thank you, I try. So, you ready now?"

"Yeah. Let's get it over with."

**XXXX**

The women passed through the marble and red-carpeted entrance to the hotel. Sara felt strange arriving in the daylight without her CSI kit in hand. Catherine, seemingly in her element, smiled at the receptionists, doormen, and attendants until they reached the elevator lobby. As soon as they were out of sight, however, the smile dropped. Her hand trembled slightly as she moved to press the "up" button.

"Okay," she spoke to herself, "this is it, don't panic. You're fine, you are totally fine. This is no big deal."

Sara smirked at the redhead's little self pep talk. How cute was that? Sara caught herself quickly, mentally admonishing that part of her brain- the part that didn't seem to be able to help itself whenever Catherine was around. The elevator chimed and the doors opened. Both women stepped in, but were suddenly pushed to the back by a large and talkative crowd. They found themselves sandwiched against the wall, shoulder to shoulder. Sara felt their bare arms connect and she inhaled deeply. Catherine heard it, and looked up at the younger woman. But she had no time to think about it though, because the elevator lurched and her mind was taken to other things.

"Could someone push fourteen, please?" the smaller woman called over the heads of the other passengers. Sara shifted on her feet, and her skin pressed against Catherine's. Catherine felt it, and something inside her shivered, sending a warning flush over her body that was shortly followed by a fluttering in her chest. She closed her eyes and held her breath until the feeling subsided. Her mind began to dip into that place she had long ago chosen to ignore. As the elevator came to a halt and the crowd disembarked, she shook herself, attempting to regain control- this was not the time for this.

As for Sara, her mind was far away. She had tried to reign in her desires, but had escaped her grasp. Abandoning her good sense, she let her thoughts send shivers and sweat down her spine. Her eyes glazed over and she let her imagination take hold. There was Catherine, ravished and sensual, her dress pulled down to reveal a lavender lace bra, her chest heaving. Her lipstick smeared, her hair askew, and her eyes smoldering and begging for more. But before Sara could give her just that, reality hit.

"Sara?" Catherine wrapped a hand around the other woman's firm bicep, shaking her gently. "Sara, we're here." She gestured at the open elevator doors.

"Huh? Oh, right."

The older woman tilted her head to one side, studying the brunette for a moment before mustering a smile. "You're supposed to be watching out for me, remember? Not the other way around."  
Sara, recovered, returned the smile, "Don't worry. I've got your back."

"I have complete faith. Come on, let's get a move on."

**XXXX**

"Oh, my goodness! Is that Cathy?" a woman's voice called out. "Cathy, Cathy! Over here."

Sara smirked from her place just behind Catherine as they watched a blonde woman in high heels trot awkwardly toward them. "Come on, _Cathy_."

Catherine immediately sent an elbow back into Sara's gut and the brunette made an 'oof' sound. "Behave, Sidle," the redhead warned, never looking back. "Or you'll be doing your laundry in six inches of water." Catherine threw up her arms and plastered on a smile as the blonde approached. "Candy Allen! How wonderful to see you!" The women hugged briefly before Catherine stepped back to Sara's side.

Sara inspected Candace from the corner of her eye. The blonde woman was tallish with brown eyes and an oddly long nose. She was pretty in a floral dress and short jacket, but nowhere near as beautiful as Catherine was.

Catherine made the obligatory introductions. "Candace, this is my friend, Sara Sidle- I dragged her along for the fun. Sara, Candace Allen-Roe. Candace and I were in high school together."

"Geometry, English, and Chemistry," Candace added, shaking Sara's hand firmly. "It's nice to meet you, Sara." The woman ran her tongue over her brilliantly white teeth. "Well, why don't we head back into the party? I know there are some girls just dying to see you!"

The party was being held in one of the smaller conference rooms that had a lovely view of an inner courtyard. When they made their entrance, Sara intentionally stayed a few steps behind Catherine. There had definitely been times when Sara had envied Catherine's ability to take center stage, there was even a time when she thought the older woman did it on purpose- and sometimes she did. But Sara knew now, that most of the time, she just couldn't help it; Catherine was just a magnetic person. And in a situation like this, in a new place with so many people she didn't know, the brunette was something more than happy to stay in the shadows and forego the spotlight.

But Catherine would have none of it. "Sidle," she spoke from the corner of her mouth, "Get your ass up here right this instant or face the consequences."

Sara stepped quickly into stride, trying to hold back both a smile and a fit of nerves.

Candace walked in ahead of them and cupped her hands around her mouth. "Girls! Look who I found at the elevator!"

Sara was stunned, almost thrown back by the sheer volume of all the shrieks. Then she had to fight the urge to turn on toe and run as a stampede of women headed straight for her. She took a deep breathe and two steps closer to Catherine who took it all in stride.

"Ladies! Oh, my God, look at you all!" The older woman received hug after hug before the women ushered them further into the room.

As the noise calmed down, one voice rang out above the others. A short round woman with red hair and a dusting of freckles on a sweet face called out, "Damn, Cathy, you haven't changed one bit!"

Sara watched Catherine, expecting her to be pissed off by the comment, but she just smiled. Then she moved her hands up to frame her chest and gave a little shimmy. "Not true, Mary-Kate! These girls went up a whole cup size when I got knocked up!"

Everyone laughed including Catherine, as Sara tried hard not to be mortified and just smile along. Why was she here again? But she only needed one glance at the woman next to her to remember. _Oh, yeah. She says 'jump', you say 'how high'._ Catherine looked over and sent her a wink. She melted. _Oh, boy._ Sara smiled. _Just go with the flow._

**XXXX**

**So, want another fast update? Or perhaps a new post for Sara's Baby? It's coming along and I might be able finish it up with the right inspiration…like, oh I don't know, reviews or something…:D**


	4. Ladies Who Lunch

**A/N: Hello, hello again! Here is your next update! I'm so super excited for you guys to read this one because things are going to start to unfold more quickly and just you wait! Go forth, me readers! Have fun!**

**XXXX**

The luncheon was going well. Sara had been introduced to most of Catherine's old friends and better acquaintances and they were all very pleasant and polite. It was almost like no time had passed and everyone wanted to talk about old times. They had been there for about half an hour, and Sara was just starting to relax. She had actually turned away from Catherine, who was equally involved in conversation with someone else, to talk to a woman who was a medical biologist. The woman was just saying how refreshing it was to talk to someone who understood her field, and everything seemed to be going according to plan, when Sara heard a sweet voice from behind her.

"Hey, Cathy."

Against her back, Sara felt her friend stiffen. She paused a moment and then spoke, "Julie." She paused again. "I wasn't sure you were coming."

Sara turned around now, feeling both curious and protective. When Catherine felt Sara at her back, she put a hand out to grip the brunette's thigh to steady herself. Sara fought to push the contact to the back of her mind as she studied the woman in front of Catherine. She was two inches shorter than the redhead, with long, straight blonde hair and wide-set blue-green eyes. She wore a black leather jacket over a maroon tank top paired with faded blue jeans and well-worn green sandals. Her face was free of make-up, but she needed none- anyone could tell she was a traditionally attractive woman.

Julie shrugged, "I just flew in from San Francisco. I've never been to Vegas before."

Up until that point, there had been silence in their area of the room, the women around them having stopped to listen in on their conversation. Now they began to talk and move slightly away, sensing that the women needed their privacy. Sara moved to leave as well, but Catherine grabbed her by a belt loop and pulled her back; then she did a surprising thing. She wrapped an arm around Sara's waist. The move was noticed by both Julie and Sara. Sara looked at Catherine. Catherine was focused on Julie. Julie's eyes flicked to Sara. Then she nodded and held out her hand to the brunette.

"Hi. I'm Julie Green."

Sara took the strong hand, still perplexed by the hand on her hip. "Sara Sidle." Why did she have the feeling there was more going on here than first met the eye? Glancing at Catherine, Sara saw she was now staring at Julie openly- and Julie had noticed too. The brunette realized she had to do something, so she opened her mouth. "So, San Francisco, huh? I was there for about seven years. Great place, isn't it?"

Julie smiled in a pleasant way, "The best. I moved from Seattle three years ago and I can't ever see myself leaving."

"I hear ya. I never thought I'd leave."  
"So what brought you to Vegas?"

The brunette looked quickly at Catherine who was seemingly in a trance. "Uh…work," she smiled shortly, "actually. I'm a criminalist with the Las Vegas Police Department, same as Catherine." She reached a hand behind the redhead, but instead of a gentle stroke or tap, she poked the other woman painfully.

"Oww! Christ, Sara, what the f-" Catherine caught herself as all eyes in the room turned to her. She settled for disentangling herself from Sara and rubbing the spot where the brunette's nail had made contact, carefully avoiding the eyes on her. She smiled uncomfortably at Sara and Julie.

Julie looked at Catherine with a puzzled expression on her face. "You're a cop?"

Catherine shook her head. "Not exactly. Sort of a scientific detective."

"You carry a gun?"

"For protection only."

The blonde cocked her head to one side. "Wow. I always thought you'd do something more…creative."

"Oh, its creative," Sara protested. "And Catherine has more original and effective techniques than anyone. She can put pieces together and see things no one else does. She's very creative in her work- artistic even." She looked down on the redhead with a grin.

Catherine looked into those chocolate brown eyes and simultaneously felt both more relaxed and more uneasy. She returned the smile and patted Sara's arm. "I'm not the only one with effective techniques. Sara here has some pretty amazing solves under her belt- she has the answer when everyone else is still scratching their heads." She blushed when Sara beamed and she coughed nervously. "Would you two ladies excuse me for a moment? I need to visit the little CSI's room."

Sara frowned. "Do you want me to come with you?"

Catherine held up a hand when the brunette would have started forward, "No. Nope. I'm fine, I'll be right back." She touched Sara's hand and winked. "Promise." She stepped out of the room, made her way down the hall, reached the bathroom, closed the door, locked the door, leaned against it…and promptly lost her mind.

****

She took deep breaths to try and calm herself. Shutting her eyes, she rubbed her temple as she thought out loud. "What the hell is wrong with you? You knew there was a chance she'd be here, wasn't that the whole point in the first place?" The redhead looked up at the ceiling, and dabbed at the corners of her eyes with her pinkie fingers. This had been a mistake. She should just go in, get Sara, and leave.

Sara. Why had she pulled her into this? That was perhaps an even bigger mistake than coming here. But they were friends now, and she had been ten steps beyond nervous about this whole thing until Sara had agreed to come. But now that she thought about it, having both Julie and Sara in the same room at the same time seemed like a very bad idea. Her thoughts of Julie had always filled her with confusion, pain, and sometimes regret. Combine that with the way her emotions reeled when she was anywhere near Sara these days and you had yourself a recipe for disaster. It was impossible to think clearly around either of them.

Belatedly, Catherine realized that by locking herself in the bathroom, she had left Sara and Julie alone. Together. A pang of panic shot through her chest. Sara could never ever find out about…shit.

****

Sara looked around the room awkwardly. She knew Julie was studying her and it made her more than uncomfortable. She coughed lightly to fill the silence. "So…Julie, what do you do that brought you to San Francisco?"

"I'm a photographer and a song writer."

This peaked Sara's interest. "Photographer? Like an artist or do you do weddings and things?"

"Both. I need the weddings and Bar Mitzvahs to pay the bills, and my free time I devote to my art. Industrial landscapes mostly."

"That sounds…interesting." Sara knew the other woman was still scrutinizing her and that her plan of distracting Julie with conversation had failed. She stared at the ceiling and then out the window. The silence stretched on, and Sara was just about to give in and say something stupid just for the sake of talking, when Julie spoke up.

"So how long have you and Cathy…?" The blonde woman made a vague gesture.

"Oh," Sara shrugged. "A long time now. About seven years, a little more I guess."

Julie nodded her head a little stiffly. "So, I guess she's told you about me…about _us_."

The brunette returned the nod without thinking, "Yeah, she's-" She paused. The way the other woman spoke the word 'us', hinted that there was something she was missing. Then she remembered Catherine's attitude shift when she had brought up Julie that morning in the laundry room. There was definitely more to this story. Sara decided to do some investigating, so she answered carefully. "She's…mentioned you."

The short blonde smiled sideways, looking the lanky brunette up and down. "Guess I really wasn't her type anyway, huh?

Sara laughed lightly, having no idea what the other woman was talking about. "Guess not."

Over the blonde's shoulder, she spied her lunch date making her way across the room.

The redhead smiled when she reached them, but her chest rose and fell like she'd been running. "Sorry, back again. Did you guys find something to talk about while I was gone?"

Julie smiled and flicked her eyes over to Sara. "We sure did."

Catherine's eyes widened and she felt her heart plummet into her stomach. She was about to inquire as to the topic of their conversation when all of the ladies in the room were called to the large banquet table for food. By the time they were seated, Julie was on the opposite end of the table and Sara was in deep conversation with the medical biologist. Catherine sighed and turned to Candace on her right. If they had been talking about anything important, Sara would have said something. She would just have to wait for a better time to question the brunette.

**XXXX**

**She'll have to wait, you'll have to wait- but hopefully not for too long! I bet you guys can figure out where this is going now. Best guesses? I'm thinking that Julie and Catherine are going to get together and leave Sara in the dust- but not for long, since she was actually in love with Greg this whole time and they are going to get married and have mad sex and babies! Not what you wanted? You should review in protest! Or because you love the story and you just wanted me to know. :)**


	5. Laundry Chat Part 2

**A/N: Readers, sweet readers! How are you? This week has been ridiculously crazy and with no end in sight. But, that doesn't mean I forgot about you! I have been hard at work and so have you. Thank you so much for the wonderful reviews, they mean so much to me, and as a reward- a new update! Don't ya just love how that works?**

**Alright, go read and have fun!**

**XXXX**

"Did you know Dr. Reed much when you were in school?"

"What?" Catherine asked distractedly, "Who?"

Sara looked over quickly and then back to the road, frowning. "Dr. Pamela Reed? The woman I sat next to at lunch. Are you okay? You've been a bit out of it. Did something happen?"

"I'm fine." The redhead changed the subject quickly. "Do you mean Pam Sergeant? Is she Reed now? And a doctor? Well," there was a sarcastic note in her voice, "that's not surprising. No, we weren't really in the same groups in high school."

"Why? I mean, what 'groups' were you in?"

"She was a real brain, you know? Always winning the science fairs, pretty antisocial; that sort of thing."

Sara quirked an eyebrow. "What's wrong with that?"

"Nothing!" Catherine rushed to say. "We just didn't have much in common at the time. I couldn't and didn't want to compete with her academically, and I knew she didn't think much of my…extracurricular activities."

"So you were in the 'popular group', I take it."

Catherine shook her head. "Not exactly. I hung out with some of them, but mostly my friends were the theatre kids and the jocks."

"Theatre?" Sara smiled, trying to picture it, "and _jocks_?"

Catherine slapped the brunette's arm playfully. "Don't make fun. I kicked ass."

"At what?" The younger woman asked incredulously, working hard not to laugh.

"Track. I was a really good sprinter, I'll have you know. Took first at regionals two years in a row and third at state my sophomore year." The older woman smiled fondly.

Sara tried to reconcile the image she had of the sultry adult Catherine she knew with the skinny high school girl she must have been. She shook her head. "And what about the theatre?"

"Well," Catherine hesitated, "Julie was my best friend- since kindergarten or even before. And she was always the artistic one- and musical too. She was the lead in every play since the Nutcracker in third grade. So, since we were joined at the hip, we knew a lot of the same people."

"Gotcha." Sara licked her lips before continuing. "Hey, about Julie…"

Catherine tensed as they pulled up at a red light. "What about her?"

Sara didn't miss the other woman's tone. "Uh…nothing. I was just wondering…when you lost touch with her, that's all."

Catherine blew out from her mouth. "God, it has to be more than twenty years now. Just about when I started dancing. I cut a lot of people out of my life at that point. Wasn't exactly proud of what my life had become, if you know what I mean?"

Sara didn't say anything, not knowing whether to agree or protest.

But apparently the redhead wasn't waiting for an answer. "And then, when my life finally fell into place?" she rubbed the back of her neck, "I don't know. It just seemed like a lost cause."

Sara nodded, turning onto Catherine's street. "She seemed nice today, though." She hesitated. Her inner investigator wanted to puzzle together whatever this was that was going on with Julie, but she didn't want to push Catherine too far and risk upsetting her. So she spoke carefully, "It seemed like she missed you."

The older woman whipped her head around to stare at her friend. "Why? Did she say something?"

"Not really," Sara hurried to say. "It was more the way she acted, I guess. When you were gone. Almost protective, in a way."

Catherine sat back in her seat as they pulled into her driveway. "Huh. That's strange…she probably was just nervous. You know, after all these years."

The brunette shut her door as she followed the redhead up her walkway. "Yeah," she stopped in her tracks. "That's probably it." _And I'm a rubber duck. _Now Sara knew something was definitely up and she was determined to figure it out. What had happened between these two that could cause so much tension even so many years later? But she knew that she'd have to keep tip-toeing around the subject the way she'd done all day. She didn't want to spook Catherine. So, Plan A: carefully wheedle any info she could out of Catherine this afternoon, and then question Julie stealthily but more in depth that night at the cocktail party. Sara jogged to catch up with her colleague. "I'll just change my laundry over and then I'll get out of your hair- give you a chance to get some rest."

Catherine unlocked the door, leaving it open for the brunette as she stepped inside. Slipping out of her heels, she ran a hand tiredly through her hair. "You know, Sara, about tonight. It was really nice of you to help me out today, but...if you don't want to come tonight, I totally understand. I mean, you won't know anyone and I don't want you to be uncomfortable…"

Taking the hint, but deciding to ignore it, Sara looked up from her armful of colored clothes. "It's not a problem Cath," she put the load in the wash, slammed the door, and pushed the 'start' button. Then she walked over to Catherine who had pushed up against the closed laundry room door and now had nowhere to run. Sara touched her fingertips to the other woman's arm in a supportive gesture. "I want to be there for you."

Catherine eyed the hand touching her skin and then the woman it belonged to. She wanted to say no, she wanted to argue, she wanted to stop this whole rollercoaster before things got out of hand. But those eyes. Those deep eyes and sweet smile. Her stomach tightened and she hiccupped loudly, covering her mouth for moment. Sara tilted her head to the side in a questioning expression and what little strength Catherine had mustered to refuse just melted away. What was happening to her? She heard the resigned words leave her lips. "If you're sure."

"Positive."

"Okay." The redhead shook herself back into reality. "Okay," she repeated, with more purpose in her voice. "I spoke with Gil this morning, since neither of us has the night off. He said he can only give us two hours off tonight and we're not allowed to drink."

Sara nodded. "Sounds fair. Want to meet there? That way we'll have both Denalis and we won't have to pick one up on the way- since we don't live close together."

"Sure. We're all meeting up in the lounge at the Venetian and then we've rented one of their private rooms off the main floor."

"Time?"

"Eight o'clock."

Sara reached for the doorknob behind Catherine and accidentally grazed her hip with a thumbnail. The older woman shuddered but saved herself from discovery by pretending she was cold. She walked Sara to the door, returned the brunette's wave, and watched her as she drove away. Deep in thought, she moved to the sofa where she stretched out and propped her feet up.

She could admit it now, if only to herself, that her last summer with Julie had meant something more to her than she had pretended for so many years. She could admit it. They'd had something special. What she couldn't admit was that the way it had been with Julie, the way her stomach had fluttered whenever the blonde had touched her, or spoken her name, or caught her eyes across a room, the way her heart had pounded out of her chest when Julie whispered in her ear, was almost the way she felt when she was with Sara. She could never admit that. What she'd had with Julie had been puppy love. Yes, it had been a strong and powerful first love, but they were just barely out of childhood that summer. Julie had been her best friend and they had taken it one step too far.

The usual excuses began to flood Catherine's mind. They didn't know what they were doing, they were so young, they didn't know what the real world was like. Sure, times had changed. But they hadn't changed that much. No. It had been a long time ago. It was in her past. She was not having feelings for Sara. She was not falling for another woman. It wasn't possible. She'd been married, for Christ's sake- she had a daughter! She was most definitely not a lesbian and whatever this was, it was just a phase. It was just excitement over building a new friendship. It would go away.

God, she hoped it would go away.

XXXX

After the drive home, Sara showered and got into bed. She tried to read for a while, but soon her thoughts had wandered off the pages of her book and back to the events of that afternoon. Catherine had been all over the place, she had never seen her so scattered. Up and down all day, and then completely erratic during the luncheon. Something was wrong. Sara knew her friend was nervous about getting back together with these people, but it was more than that, and Sara had a pretty good idea that it had more than something to do with one Julie Green.

Sara thought about what she knew of the woman. She seemed nice enough. She wasn't stupid, she held herself well, and she didn't seem to care much what people thought of her. In some ways she reminded the brunette of Catherine. Attractive, with a bold personality and a no nonsense attitude. She could imagine them as dynamic duo in high school, having the run of the town and doing whatever they wanted. But in other ways, she was very different from the redhead. She had a different kind of confidence about her. Catherine's confidence seemed to be more of an innate personality trait whereas Julie's appeared to come from an inner strength that had developed over time. And there was a coolness about her that Sara wasn't sure she liked. Sure, Catherine could be a bitch if you got on her bad side, but nobody could honestly deny that she was a warm and passionate human being, full of life and love.

Sara's thoughts drifted in and out and soon she found herself fighting the clutches of sleep. She knew she was missing something and it was just out of reach. But whatever the mystery was, it was going to have to wait until her eyelids didn't feel quite so heavy.

**XXXX**

**So? We're getting closer! The puzzle is unraveling, even if Sara is being a little dense. And who knows what the next chapter will bring? Oh, yeah, that's right- me! But I'm sure you want to know too, so you know what to do…review!**


	6. Revelations

**A/N: Okay, I've had this done for a while, but I didn't want to post it because I was having a block and I didn't want you to have to wait a really long time between this and the next update, but then I realized that dragging out this update would just mean you would be waiting a long time now instead of later. Did that make sense? So, even though I am still having a block about what's comes next, I thought it was unfair to hold back this little chapter. Enjoy!**

**XXXX XXXX XXXX**

Sara hummed deep in her throat as Catherine's tongue was thrust into her mouth. She slid her hands under the redhead's electric blue negligee, her fingernails scratching up the other woman's sides as her flesh undulated under her touch. Catherine's whimper drove her wild and she quickly gained the upper hand, rolling on top of the smaller woman. But Catherine was not a woman to be trifled with, and she brought a knee up between the brunette's legs, pressing it hard against the slick heat that was obvious despite Sara's black panties. She smiled at Sara's deep groan of approval but then elicited a feral groan of her own when the younger woman pinched her nipple.

"Be nice," Sara growled into the redhead's neck. "Remember, I've got you right where I want you."

"Do you now?" Catherine held Sara's mouth to her skin with one insistent hand, even as the other moved under the elastic of the brunette's panties, massaging the muscular backside she found there. "Are you sure?" Her voice was husky.

"Oh, God." Sara sucked hard at Catherine's pulse point before soothing it with the flat of her tongue. "Catherine…"

There was a soft giggle in the brunette's ear and she knew Catherine was grinning at the upper hand she'd just gained. But Sara wasn't about to give up. She lowered her hips and thrust a bare thigh hard against the other woman's core. Catherine's head lifted up and then fell back against the pillows as she shut her eyes tight. "Jesus shit, Sara!"

Sara smiled smugly. Just as her hand began its sensual journey over Catherine's stomach, they were interrupted…

Sara groaned once more, but this time it was a groan of disappointment. Her hand reached over and felt the cold space beside her, a space that had never been occupied by the beautiful object of her dreams. "And never will," she grumbled sleepily.

Sitting up, she threw the blanket away from her and swung her legs around to put her feet on the ground. She slapped the culprit responsible for ending her amazing dream and the alarm clock went silent. Stumbling into the bathroom, she turned on her shower and stripped down. As she stepped under the hot water, she pushed her dream aside and thought once more on the puzzle that was at hand. Catherine and Julie. Catherine…and Julie.

She knew something must have happened between them. Something big. But what? Sara thought about what she knew of Catherine's past. Was there an answer buried somewhere in there? There had never been a reason to ask Catherine why she'd set off her own at sixteen. She had dropped school, family, and friends and just left. Why? Sara had always assumed it was because of Catherine's fiery personality- a big fish, small pond kind of thing. But what if that wasn't the only reason? The more Sara thought about it, the more whatever had happened with Julie seemed like a plausible explanation. She'd have to prod some more information out of Catherine.

_Think. Think. Think. _Pushing her guesses about the past to the side, she tried to focus on the present. What had had happened today that could be a clue? When Catherine first mentioned Julie, her voice had become sad and full of emotion. Sara was a skilled observer, hell it was her job, but reading emotions on other people? Not always her strongest point. So she didn't try. Instead, as she rinsed the shampoo from her hair, she closed her eyes and went over the luncheon, frame by frame.

A moment later, her eyes were wide open as realization struck. Then they were shut tight again, "Ow! Shit!" she wiped desperately at her eyes, trying to get the shampoo out. She realized belatedly that her hands were also covered in the offending suds. "Damn it!"

As soon as she could see again, she was out of the shower, grabbing a towel, and staring at herself in mirror.

_Oh, my god!_

Catherine and Julie! As in Catherine _and_ Julie. _Oh, my god! _Was that possible? It couldn't be. But that was what the evidence was saying. And Grissom was forever saying; the evidence never lied. When Julie first came in, Catherine had been all touchy feely with Sara. When Julie noticed it, she had _nodded._ As if in understanding or acceptance. And her questions. Sara had been so nervous that she hadn't taken in the meaning right away but now it all came together in her mind. Julie had laughed about not being Catherine's type! Because she thought _Sara_ was Catherine's type!

"Shit!" Julie had somehow gotten the idea that Sara and her old friend- or possibly ex-girlfriend, were an item. For the past seven years! Sara brought a hand up to cover her eyes. Catherine was going to kill her. Okay, sure, she hadn't purposely misled Julie. But the way Catherine acted, Sara was pretty sure this was the last thing she wanted. _Crap._

Sara tried to remain calm. So, when they were sixteen, Catherine and Julie had gotten involved, whether it was love or experimenting was yet to be determined, though Sara doubted there would be this much emotion involved if it had just been some messing around. Then what happened? Something had upset Catherine enough to leave the only life she'd ever known and run away. Dazedly, Sara made her way back into her bedroom. This was a lot to digest. Feeling a little dizzy, she sat on the bed with every intention of lying back down, but when she saw the time on her alarm clock, she jumped to her feet again. She had a cocktail party to get ready for.

**XXXX XXXX XXXX**

"Lindsey?" Catherine called, never looking away from her full-length mirror.

"What?" the girl called back from her room down the hall.

"Can you come in here a minute? I need help."

Lindsey came into Catherine's room, dragging her feet. "What?"

The woman turned around, holding a dress up to her body and questioned the teenager. "What do you think about this one?"

The girl's jaw dropped. "Are you kidding? A tube dress? Mom, you're forty-five!"

"I am not! I'm forty-four." Her daughter raised an eyebrow and Catherine's shoulders sagged. "…and three quarters." She looked down at herself, "Maybe with a short jacket?"

"No way, Mom. Besides, don't you want to look a little, you know, classy?"

The redhead sighed and threw the offending dress onto the bed. "Yes, but I don't want to wear black- all of my 'classy' dresses are black."

"What about the red one with the pink beading that you wore to the Christmas party?"

"No," Catherine whined, "Sara's already seen me in that."

"So? I thought you were trying to impress your old friends." Lindsey's eyes narrowed. "Why are you trying to impress Sara?"

"I'm not." Catherine dropped the subject and walked back into her massive closet- it had been one of the main reasons she had bought this house. "I have that purple one I got at the mall last month."

Lindsey bit the inside of her cheek like she wanted to say something, but thought better of it and held her tongue. "Its too short. Why not just wear a black one?"

"Because A) all of the women will be wearing black dresses, and B) the Venetian's private rooms have black tables, chairs, rugs- I want people to actually be able to see me."

"Gotcha. Hey, wait a minute. What about the blue one- you never wear the blue one anymore."

"Because its only for very special occasions."

"Doesn't this qualify? And besides, you look awesome in it."

"I don't know, Linds- you don't think it's a bit over the top?"

"Of course it is. But this is Las Vegas- if you're not over the top, you might as well be invisible. And anyway," the girl said casually, "You'll look better than anyone else…and I bet Sara will love it."

Catherine threw a look over her shoulder, but remained quiet. She gazed at the dress on the hanger and thought about it for a long moment. "What earrings match?"

An hour later, Lindsey was shooing her mother out the door. "Hurry up or you're gonna be late!"

"You want me to hurry? In four-inch heels? Really?"

"You know what I mean."

"Yeah, yeah. Wish me luck!"

"Knock 'em dead, Mom."

"Thanks for all your help."

"No problem. Give Sara a hug for me."

Catherine stopped momentarily in her tracks before calling over her shoulder, "Yeah…I'll do that."

**XXXX XXXX XXXX**

**Did ya like it? So now that Sara's finally got a clue, what's gonna happen? You guys should all seriously review, because I am having a terrible block on this and Sara's Baby, and I really need some inspiration- I'm beginning to lose my mind, I haven't written in so long. So help a girl out! Please?**


	7. Cocktails

**A/N: Hey all! Got a lot of writing done yesterday, I am on a roll! So here is a pretty little update for you. I had a very exciting day today, I went grocery shopping and to wal-mart, then I assembled a closet. Yes, I know, you are amazed by my fascinating life- we writers are often creatures of adventure and mystery…**

**Read on!**

**XXXX**

Sara handed her keys to the valet as she stepped out of the Denali. She looked up and around at the bright lights and over-the-top landscaping. Well, if you were going to have a party, this seemed like the place to have it. It seemed much more inviting when you weren't concerned about a dead body inside- and when you weren't using the service entrance.

"Holy shit," she mumbled as she stepped inside. The ceilings had to be at least thirty feet high and everything was gold and glitz, built to resemble old Italian and Roman architecture on overload. She looked around and through a throng of people that seemed endless. She didn't see any familiar faces, but after a minute of searching, she heard her name being called above the crowd.

"Sara! Over here!"

Sara stood on her toes and spotted Pam, the woman she had met earlier that afternoon. She walked over and the black-haired woman gave her a short hug. "Hey, I'm glad you could make it. Where's your date?"

"Who?" the CSI swallowed at the word 'date'. "You mean Catherine? She's not here yet?"

"I haven't seen her. Wow, you look really great."

Sara glanced down at her outfit. Charcoal grey pinstriped dress slacks that hugged her then fell away from her frame in an appealing way, a tight silvery sleeveless top with a gathered neckline, and a short black leather jacket. Black, strappy sandals with a one inch heel completed the look. She gave a half smile, accented by her sheer lip gloss. "Thanks."

"We're all gathering in the lounge until everyone arrives, if you want to come hang out."

"Thanks, but I think I'd better wait for Catherine- it is her reunion after all."

"Sure, you want me to get you a drink?"

"Can't, I'm working tonight. Don't worry, you go have fun. Cath should be here any minute."

Pam nodded. "Okay, see you in there."

As the other woman turned away, Sara scanned over the heads of the crowd, searching out the object of her secret affections. She looked left. She looked right. She checked her watch. 8:03. Was it too soon to call and make sure she was on her way? She should probably give it at least five minutes so she didn't sound completely pathetic. She fiddled with her watchband, blinked at the time again, and then looked up. Her jaw dropped.

It was almost as if the sea of people before her parted on cue. And there was Catherine Willows, sauntering down the granite-floored aisle, a vision in blue. _Electric blue._ Sara's brain was pulled back to her dream from that afternoon and she was suddenly rendered incapable of any movement. The dress was a one shoulder wonder that hugged the redhead's torso beautifully and fell in waves away to the knee in front and mid-calf at the back. The ornate beading on top worked perfectly with her subtle but glittering silver earrings and bracelets, and the rippling fabric of the bottom echoed the gorgeous soft curls that framed her glowing face.

She had been looking to the side as she made her way down the hall, but as she drew closer to Sara, her head turned slowly and a wide grin appeared on her face. As she took in the other woman's attire, her grin turned predatory. "Well, well. What's a good-lookin' girl like you doing in a place like this?"

Sara forgot her nerves at the playful tone in Catherine's voice, "Just waiting for a friend of mine, have you seen her? A body to kill for and a face to launch a thousand ships?"

Catherine laughed but her stomach was swarming with butterflies. Was that really what Sara thought? She took a breath. "You do look great."

Sara nodded, before she could help herself, the words spilled from her lips, "And you're beautiful." She smiled nervously, her anxiety about this night returning full force as she met the redhead's gaze.

"Thanks. I'll tell Lindsey- she practically forced me into it." There was a pause before Catherine held out her hand, a smile playing at the corner of her mouth. "C'mon. Let's show 'em how its done."

Sara hesitated and then clasped the other woman's hand in hers. "So, Pam told me there'd be guys at this thing. Anyone I should watch out for?"

Catherine giggled like the school girl, thinking back to yesteryear. "Dickie Westhaven, if he shows up. He won't have many friends if he does. He's a total slime ball."

"Ecklie kind of slime ball?"

"Worse. He's good looking, or at least he used to be, and he thinks he's God's gift to women, but he's got the intellect of a slug and the smile of a snake."

"Did you date him?" Sara asked without thinking.

Catherine made a retching sound, "Ugh! Not in a million years. That's not to say he didn't try- he did, but I was already taken."

"By who?"

"John Robin. We dated starting in eighth grade and we were together until I left, the summer after sophomore year."

"Huh." Sara had always assumed that Catherine could have had any guy she wanted and was surprised to hear she was only with one person in high school. She blushed in her private embarrassment, she didn't think of Catherine that way- she respected her immensely. She'd just figured she was a free spirit- one that wasn't easily tamed by one man. "Will he be here?"

"Uhh…" The older woman looked around as they entered the lounge area. She pointed toward the bar, nodding. "I guess so. That's him in the red shirt. Hasn't changed a bit."

Sara inspected the man at the bar. He was tall, quite tall in fact, with dark disheveled hair. His beard was trimmed short and his wine-colored dress shirt and dark brown slacks were well cared for. He turned away from the man he was talking to, green-gold eyes scanning the room before landing on Catherine. He was a very handsome man, Sara thought to herself, and he was clearly impressed with what he saw in Catherine. Everyone was. As she looked around, she could see that most faces had turned toward them, and several conversations had come to a sudden halt.

Catherine gripped tighter to Sara's hand and murmured quietly close to her ear, "Quick…run!"

The brunette cracked a smile. "You don't get out of it that easy," she said in a low voice. She released the redhead and gave her a playful push forward. "Let's go…Cathy."

Catherine turned to shove the other woman back, but Sara easily dodged, laughing. "You watch out, Sidle! I'd keep one eye open if I were you!"

Sara pretended to tremble in fear. Then she saw a man approaching over Catherine's shoulder. It was the high school boyfriend, John. Catherine caught her glance and Sara gestured with her chin, "Cath…"

The redhead turned. "John Robin," she exclaimed with what Sara now recognized as false vibrato. "It has been a few years, huh?"

He smiled warmly and wrapped the woman in a fierce hug. "Cathy Flynn! Yeah, just a few. And just look at you!" He smiled again, shaking his head. "I guess we really are all grown up, aren't we?"

"For a while now, J. But its great to see you."

"Its great to see you. Can I buy you a drink while we wait for the stragglers?"

"Uh…" Catherine looked over her shoulder at the woman behind her.

"Oh, I'm sorry. I thought you'd come alone."

"No. John, this is Sara Sidle. Sara this is John Robin."

Sara reached out a hand. "Nice to meet you."

"Its nice to meet you too." His grip was firm and not at all unfriendly.

Sara smiled at the other woman, waving a hand, and speaking much more bravely than she felt. "You kids go have fun."

Catherine gave her a questioning look, but she just shook her head.  
"I'll go find Pam- you two get caught up. I'll see you later."

The redhead smiled softly. "Thanks, Sar." To the man taking her arm she said, "I'm afraid you're going to have to buy me a coke- virgin style; I'm on duty tonight."

As the man and woman moved toward the bar, Sara turned her attention to the rest of the crowd, eyes searching for Pam even as the disappointment welled up inside her. She had hoped she would be able to unravel the 'Catherine/Julie mystery' some more, and that she would get to spend some real time with Catherine tonight, but apparently that was not going to happen.

"Looking for someone?"

Sara spun to see a cocktail waitress sporting what amounted to little more than a red and gold bathing suit and carrying an empty tray. She had blonde hair in curls down her back, and large blue-gray eyes. "Uh, just a friend."

The young woman grinned. "You don't look old enough to have graduated with all these folks."

Sara smiled politely, "No, I was a few years behind." She spotted Pam who waved her over to a group of women. "Excuse me?" Sara sidestepped the girl.

"Sure," she giggled, "I'm Ronnie. I'll be serving your party all night so, you know, if you need anything…"

"Yeah," Sara dismissed the girl quickly, "thanks." She headed towards her new friend. "Hey, what's…" But she was interrupted by loud laughter coming from the bar area.

Pam looked over her shoulder. "Ah, I see John and Cathy are getting reacquainted. Well, good for them."

"What do you mean?"

"Well, in high school, everyone was so sure they were going to get married, until Cathy ran off. He was completely crushed. We weren't friends, so I lost track of him, but Candy was telling me that he met another girl when he was in college on a football scholarship. He married her- they had four kids and were very happy until she died suddenly two years ago. So now the talk of the evening has been he and Cathy getting back together again."

Sara's heart pounded in her ears. "Well, they only just met again after like twenty-five years. I seriously doubt-" But she was once again cut off by another peal of laughter that she immediately recognized as Catherine's.

Pam smirked, "You were saying?" When Sara did not reply, the doctor introduced her to the group of women they were with. Most were friends Pam had had in high school, plus a few wives. Sara was beginning to feel like she was back in high school herself, hanging out with the science geeks and math nerds while the prettiest girl in school was on the arm of the star quarterback. She did not like the feeling.

**XXXX**

**Well, that's a wrap! For this update anyway. What's going to happen next? Let's see some review action and maybe I'll get another update out to you before the week is through- and maybe just maybe one for Sara's Baby too!**


	8. Unravels

**A/N: Howdy, y'all! I know, its been way too long and I am so sorry! I could come up with a million reasons why, but in the end, the ideas just weren't flowing. Sorry. But here is an update on this, and I will get cracking on Sara's Baby later tonight! You guys are the best for being so patient. Read on!**

**XXXX**

It was 10:30. The party had long ago moved into a private room and Sara hadn't seen Catherine since their separation at the bar. Well, that wasn't technically true. She had _seen _Catherine across the room. She had _heard _Catherine across the room. But the redhead had so far failed to cross said room and actually talk to her. And it was starting to piss her off. At this point she was craning her neck to look at the other woman about every minute, but Catherine seemed to be perfectly content to stand very close to her former boyfriend as they conversed with a group of people who, if Sara had to guess by their figures, were probably the jock crowd from way back when. Things were starting to get dull, and Sara was beginning to contemplate leaving when she felt a tap on her shoulder.

At the same moment across the room, Catherine laughed hollowly as an old acquaintance in the group told a story. She looked up and caught John smiling at her, she smiled back, her stomach turning uneasily. Was she leading him on? She didn't want to lead him on, did she? He had made it very clear earlier at the bar and every minute since, with his little touches and eager smiles, that he was interested in being more then just old friends. He was, she had to admit to herself, a very handsome man- even more so now than when he was just a boy. He made insightful comments in their conversations with other people, he was smart but not a know-it-all. His eyes were gentle, his manner kind, and his sense of humor just absolutely gut-wrenching. Did he even have a fault?

Yes, Catherine decided, he did. There was nothing she could put her finger on, exactly, but there was definitely something. She didn't feel connected with him. He was everything she was supposed to want, but she didn't. Her heart sunk as she tried not to think about what she did want. _Stop it,_ she told herself. But she could not ignore the pull at her back, the one that always told her when a certain brunette's gaze was on her.

**XXXX**

Sara turned and was met with a now familiar face. "Julie." She smiled apprehensively as she moved a little away from the group. "Hi."

"Hiya." Julie's smile was much more relaxed. She was dressed in dark jeans and a loose black peasant top.

"Did you just get here?"

"Yeah. I drove out into the desert to get a few shots this afternoon and it took me awhile to get back- traffic."

"Yeah, the strip on a Friday night will do that to ya."

The blond nodded her agreement. After a pause she asked. "Where's Cath?"

Sara gestured with her chin over one shoulder. "Catching up on old times," she said, dryly.

Julie watched the jock group closely for a moment; most of the laughter and loud voices were coming from that direction. "I guess so." She studied Sara's expression. "You're awfully understanding. I don't know if I'd keep her on such a long leash."

Sara's jaw clenched. She didn't like this woman's comparison of Catherine to some subservient pet. "I trust her."

Julie rolled her eyes and laughed bitterly. "You do, huh?" She studied Sara for a moment then shook her head. "You really are wrapped around that little finger of hers, aren't you?"

"What?" Sara asked shortly. What Julie's problem? And why did Sara feel like there was trouble brewing behind those blue-green eyes?

"Nothing. Look, just a word to the wise? Catherine might seem like America's sweetheart, but underneath that, she is a total hurricane."

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?" Sara gritted her teeth.

"It means she's powerful, mesmerizing; believe me, I know." Julie looked over her shoulder at the redhead and then back at Sara again. "But she wrecks everything in her path. And just when you think you know where she's headed, she'll change her course in an instant. She's been that way since we were kids."

Sara shook her head. "You know nothing about her, you haven't seen or spoken to her in twenty years. She's different now."

"No one changes that much. Its just in her nature."

"No. Its not."

Julie shrugged. "Suit yourself. But I warned you. How much longer do you really think she can keep this 'good girlfriend' act up?"

Sara shut her eyes in an attempt to process the situation. What was she supposed to say? She didn't want to lie, in fact, she didn't want to answer the question at all. Julie was making her very uncomfortable. Maybe she could just leave?

But before she could even contemplate escape, her thoughts were interrupted. "_Girlfriend_?" Pam intoned as she whirled around, a shocked expression on her face. At the same moment, several other women looked in their direction. Apparently she and Julie had not been as quiet as she had thought.

Sara smiled awkwardly and did not reply, her heart was thudding in her chest.

"You're Catherine's _girlfriend?_" Pam pushed again.

Sara continued her ambiguous half smile. "Would you ladies…excuse me for a minute?" She turned abruptly and began crossing the room rather quickly, muttering under her breath, "Shit. Shit. _Shit_." As she approached Catherine's group, she straightened. When she reached the red head, she unthinkingly placed a hand on the small of other woman's back.

Catherine jumped, but then smiled. "Hey! I was wondering when I'd see you. Want to meet everybody?" She turned to the others, "Everybody; Sara. Sara; everybody!" The smaller woman laughed and the crowd laughed with her.

Sara gave an exaggerated wave, "Hi there." She moved her hand up Catherine's back to grip her upper arm gently. "Can I talk to you for a second? Privately?"

The redhead studied her brunette counterpart, expression fading from comedic to worried. "Sure. Is everything okay?"

Sara looked over her shoulder at Julie who was watching them, and at Pam who was whispering quickly into another woman's ear. "Not exactly."

Catherine followed the other woman's gaze and nodded. "Okay, let's go."

When Sara dropped her hand from her arm, Catherine took it in her own and pulled Sara away from the crowd. They were both silent until they were out safely out of earshot of the others. Catherine dropped the taller woman's hand and gave her a look. "What is going on?"

Sara hesitated. "Okay, here's the thing…" she licked her lips nervously. She was in so much trouble here. "You know Julie?"

Catherine raised an eyebrow.

"Right, of course you do. Anyway," she wiped her palms on the back of her pants, "so this afternoon- and I did not know this at the time, but Julie may have accidentally gotten the impression that you and I were…uhh…a couple."

Catherine turned positively green. "What?"

"I swear I didn't realize. She just assumed, I guess."

The redhead put her head in her hands. "Shit."

"Yeah, well," the brunette smiled apologetically, "it gets worse."

Catherine met Sara's eyes, her jaw tight. "How?"

"Uh…well, I was talking to Julie just now, and she…mentioned you as my 'girlfriend' in conversation and Pam and a few other people may have overheard."

"What?!"

"I'm sorry. She started talking before I could correct her."

"Oh, this is a nightmare, this is a complete and utter nightmare."

"Why?"

"My entire high school class is going to think I'm a lesbian!"

Sara hesitated. "Are you?"

"What?" Catherine turned from a sickly green to a ghostly white. "Why would you ask that?"

"Well, I just figured with what happened with Julie…"

"She told you about that?" The color was rapidly returning to her face.

"Not exactly. I pretty much figured it out on my own, and you just confirmed it."

Catherine went back to worrying. "Oh, this is bad, this is so very bad."

"Cath, I'm really sorry. We could just leave now, if you want."

"Are you kidding? I'll never live it down. We have to go back ovder there and explain. It was just a big misunderstanding."

"If you're sure you want to do that."

"Of course I'm sure."

"Okay. Should I come with you? Or wait here?"

But just as the redhead opened her mouth to reply, Sara spied Julie over Catherine's shoulder. She motioned with her head and Catherine spun to face the blond woman.

"Well, well. It's the love birds." Julie smiled thinly. "Trouble in paradise?"

Catherine bristled visibly. "No." she said shortly. She took a deep breath and Sara could tell that her nerves were back full force with the arrival of the smaller woman. "Not at all."

"I hope everything's okay," Julie said, without a note of concern in her voice. "Was your relationship meant to be a secret?" She laughed softly. "Sorry, but you should have seen John's face just now when he found out."

"What?" The redhead looked again like she might be sick.

Sara put her hand on Catherine's shoulder, "Come on, Cath. Let's get going."

Catherine ignored her, standing her ground.

"Oh, yeah," Julie went on, "He-"

But whatever she was about to say came to a halt when the man himself approached them. Catherine looked down and then off into the distance. "John." Her voice was weak.

"Cathy," his face was a mask of confusion. "Is it true?"

"Umm…" before she could deny anything, Pam and her group of friends wandered closer. Catherine froze. In a matter of seconds they had quite the audience, just waiting for what she was about to say.

"Cathy," John spoke again, "What's going on here?"

Sara stood close at the redhead's back. Though she was pretty sure Catherine was mad at her, she also had the feeling that the other woman needed her support. Forgetting how it would look to the others, she put one hand on Catherine's shoulder, squeezing gently.

The touch agitated the older woman as much as it relaxed her. Her mind was in a whirl, but she managed to do some very quick thinking.

So, all of these people thought she was with Sara. Thought she was a lesbian. Sara's question rang in her mind. _Are you? _Was she? She felt the presence of the brunette at her back. She hadn't failed to notice the heat seeping into her body, nor that it stemmed from the gentle touch on her shoulder. It didn't matter, did it? She could figure out all that later. What mattered now was what she was going to tell these people. What would be the easiest way to get them the hell out of there as fast as humanly possible?

A moment later, she sighed audibly and put on a plastic smile. Then, carefully, she lifted her hand and covered the one on her shoulder, the one belonging to Sara. Everyone that was looking on saw the movement. Eyes went wide and there was whispering in the back of the group.

The brunette tensed, not knowing what to expect.

"Nothing's going on, John. Sara and I were just talking." She looked up at the taller woman with an affectionate gaze. Sara swallowed hard. She could learn to love that look. It was all she could do to manage a soft smile in return.

Pam, John, and the rest of their audience were slack jawed. Julie stood back, clearly enjoying herself, arms crossed triumphantly over her chest. Sara saw the grin on the blonde's face and glared. Never taking her eyes from Julie, she said, "C'mon, Cath. Its about time we went in to work."

In actuality, they still had another hour until shift even started, and Grissom had given them the first two hours off. But nobody else needed to know that.

Before Catherine could say anything, John spoke up. "So…you're…you're gay?" His mouth tightened over the last word as if it was contagious. He shook his head. "How can that be?"

Catherine stroked Sara's fingers in a way she hoped looked casual and not practiced. "People change John. No one is the same person they were in high school. Not you. Not me."

Sara couldn't believe this was happening. Just minutes ago Catherine had been horrified by the idea of them together and now she seemed perfectly happy to look all of these people in the eye and lie. What was going on? Before she could think about it, the redhead surprised her by turning in her arms. What was even more surprising however, was the fact that a second later, that same redhead had wrapped her arms around the brunette's neck and pressed their lips together.

In shock for a moment, Sara didn't move. Then her arms came up automatically to circle Catherine's waist. The kiss was soft but firm, and she relaxed into it, pulling the other woman closer. For a long moment, everything else seemed to disappear and it was just the two of them in another world. But all too soon, Catherine pulled back, her eyes immediately seeking out Sara's. She searched the younger woman's eyes for regret or anger, but found none. She smiled softly. "Time to go."

Sara nodded, her head in the fog. Catherine took her by the hand and led her away from the group and towards the door. As they made their way toward the elevators, there was only one question in the brunette's mind.

_What the HELL just happened?_

**XXXX**

**Well, well, well? What did you think? Please be cool and review! It really makes my day. Lets push it over 100! Thanks! ~Myx**


	9. Figure it Out!

06:29

**A/N: Okay, there are not enough apologies in the world. This is obscenely overdue. If it wins me any brownie points though, I did just move across the country and things are more than a little hectic. Even so, no excuse! **

**But I was going through old YouTube faves today and rewatched Idgievid's 'There's a Girl' and it really inspired me to get crackin', so you can thank idgievid and yourselves and your enormous patience for this update.**

**Did I mention you guys rock? 'Cause ya do!**

**XXX**

After they left the party, the evening did not progress exactly the way Sara had imagined it. In fact it didn't progress anything at all like she had imagined. She had thought that once they were safely in the elevator that Catherine would offer some sort of explanation. Or maybe once they were outside the hotel waiting for the valets to fetch there cars. Perhaps Catherine wanted to get some coffee and talk things through. But when the Denalis pulled up, the redhead moved towards hers without a word.

Sara couldn't just leave it at that. "Uh…Cath-"

But Catherine held up a hand, never turning around. "Not now, Sara." There was a definite edge to her voice. She continued walking.

Sara knew that tone well enough to know that maybe she'd better give the other woman a little time to cool off. Maybe they'd talk when they got to the lab. The brunette nodded to herself as she pulled herself into the SUV; a quiet talk in Catherine's office was just the thing.

But Catherine wasn't in her office when Sara arrived at the lab. Nor was she in the break room or the locker room. In fact, Sara couldn't remember seeing her car in the parking lot either. That was odd.

A piercing whistled echoed through the hall. "Well, well, what have we got here?" Greg smirked devilishly as he eyed Sara's attire.

The brunette clenched her jaw. "Now is not the time, Greg."

"Oh, I think now is exactly the time, I-"

Sara grabbed his wrist as he reached out to touch her shimmering top and bent his arm backwards.

"Ah!" Greg winced in pain. "Ah! Okay, okay! Uncle! Now's not the time, I get it." He shook out his hand as soon as he was released. "Geez, Sar. What the Hell?"

Sara saw the genuine concern in his eyes and sighed. She was too tired all of a sudden to explain. "Sorry, Greggo- bad night. Look, have you seen Catherine?"

He shook his head, "No, but I only just got here. Had to come in early to check on some trace."

Sara checked her watch. She still had a half an hour before shift even started. How was she ever going to make it through the night? And she still needed to find Catherine. "'Kay, thanks, Greg. Catch you later." She turned and headed toward Grissom's office for orders. Her feet felt like lead.

She knocked against the doorway. "Griss?"

The man looked over a stack of file folders at her. "Sara, how was your evening?"

"Well, it wasn't dull."

"I see you haven't changed into more work appropriate clothing."

The woman sighed. "I'll change on my way out to my scene. What's my case?"

Grissom shook his head. "Slow night. Nick's out on the same B&E from last night, and Warrick came in early and took a trick roll. Nothing else has come in. Why don't you get caught up on your paperwork?"

"I finished up last shift."

"How many hours have you worked so far this week?"

Sara mumbled something under her breath and her boss cracked a smile.

"That many, huh? Look, why don't you just take the night off? Get some rest, and if something comes in that we can't handle without you, I'll give you a call."

Sara stifled a yawn. It was a tempting offer. But what would Catherine think if she just left? _She'd think you were a chicken shit bitch._ She would. And she'd be right. Besides, they really did need to talk about what happened before too much time had passed and things became unbearably awkward. "Thanks, Griss. But I'll stick around for a while. I'll go see if any of the techs need a hand or something."

The man nodded. "Okay. But if you need to go home, just let me know."

"Will do."

**XXX  
**

Across town, Catherine turned into her own driveway. She stared out the window. She shut off the car. She put her head down on the steering wheel and just let the tears come. _Shit._ How had this happened? How could this happen? Had she really…? Yes, she had. She'd fucked up royally once again. And the worst part was that she didn't even know which part she cared about the most. It was just everything together that threatened to overwhelm her.

So now everyone from her past thought this thing about her that was…untrue? John had given her such a look of disgust, given her that look she had feared her entire life. And all of them would take it home and everyone who had once been her whole world would hear it. What had she done?

And Julie. What was Julie doing here? At first it seemed like she came for Catherine, and then to sabotage this imaginary relationship between Catherine and Sara. Now she seemed content to watch as Catherine was publicly humiliated. And after all of that…she was still Julie. No one had ever known her better. No one had ever been able to see directly into her soul the way Julie could. It was magical. It was terrifying.

And finally, Sara. Oh, Sara. Catherine lifted her head an inch off the wheel and then dropped it again, rather hard. There were times when Sara would look at her and her breath would just disappear, her heart would stop in her chest, and her hands would begin to shake. The redhead allowed herself to close her eyes and remember the pressure of those lips on hers. Soft and firm and yielding in the most perfect way.

Catherine caught herself and sat back quickly. This was Sara she was thinking about. A friend. A co-worker. A woman. _Shit. _She was so confused. What was she supposed to do?

Looking into her rearview mirror she dabbed at her makeup until she looked halfway presentable. She had twenty-five minutes to change and get in to work without being late. What would she say to Sara when she saw her? She couldn't avoid her forever. _I could try._ No. You couldn't just go around kissing people and then not give any explanation. She would have to think of something.

**XXX**

"Sara?"

"Hmm?"

"Sara?" Greg nudged the sleeping beauty gently with the eraser end of his pencil. "Sara, wake up."

"No…" the woman groaned, "Five more minutes." Her face snuggled back into the nest her arms made on the tabletop.

"Its about Catherine."

The brunette sat bolt upright, the back of her head smacking right into Greg's nose.

"Ow, shit!" He groaned loudly. "Aw, damn it. Sara, what is wrong with you? Are you _trying_ to kill me?"

Sara jumped out of her chair and ran to fridge for an ice pack. "I am so sorry!" She gently placed the pack on the offended area. "That was a total accident, shit, Greg, are you okay?"

"Yeah. Yeah, thanks. I got it from here."

Sara tried to act casual, tucking a free strand of hair behind her ear. "So, what were you saying before? About Catherine?"

"She's here." Greg's voice was a little nasally, "I just saw her go into her office like thirty seconds ago."

"Great." Sara made for the door.

"Hey, Sar?"

"Yeah?"

"Do you think I could get a little peck on the cheek? Just to help me heal faster?"

"There's evidence that some external injuries heal faster when someone is in a coma."

"Is that a 'no' then?"

**XXX**

Sara looked in the mirror as she blotted her face and hands dry. Okay. So, she was going to go in there and she was going to demand an explanation. She was going to be understanding but firm, and she was not leaving that room until she knew exactly what was going on. Yes. That's exactly what would happen. She left the bathroom with a confident stride that she maintained all the way up to the office door. But just as she was about to knock, the door opened and directly in her way was one Catherine Willows.

Surprised, Sara faltered. "Uh…Cath.."

"Oh, umm…hey, Sara." Catherine avoided her gaze for a moment before squaring her shoulders and looking up bravely. "Something I can do for you?"

Taking her cue from the older woman, Sara used a casual tone. "Uh, yeah, actually. I'd like to talk to you for a moment. In private." Sara gestured over the redhead's shoulder into the darkened office.

"Oh, but I need to-"

"It will only take a minute." Sara's firm voice came back.

Catherine nodded silently and backed her way into the room. Sara followed, closing and locking the door behind her- she did not want anyone walking in on this conversation.Catherine remained close to the door as if to emphasize that this was not going to take long. But it also kept her almost uncomfortably close to an already nervous brunette.

There were several seconds of silence. "You wanted to talk?" Catherine pushed.

"What the Hell happened tonight?" Subtlety had never been Sara's strong suit.

"When?"

Sara's jaw dropped. "When? When?" Her voice raised ever so slightly, "How about when you kissed me?"

"Keep your voice down!" Catherine hissed.

Sara's cheeks reddened slightly with anger, "What? A little embarrassed? Regretful?"

"Yes." Catherine looked anywhere but at Sara as she whispered. "It was stupid. It was rash. I should never have…"

The brunette stopped short. "Then why did you do it?"

Catherine wiped at a tear in the corner of her eye. "I don't know." Her voice was tight in her throat and her lip quivered. "It just seemed like the thing to do at the time."

"But you regret it now?" Sara's voice was hard.

"Yes. No. I don't know. I'm confused." She folded her arms across her chest, "I shouldn't have kissed you like that."

The younger woman froze. "Like that? Meaning you should have kissed me a different way?"

"No!"

"So you just shouldn't have kissed me."

"No."

"No, you shouldn't have? Or no, you should've?"

"What?" The words were ricocheting around in Catherine's brain.

Sara noticed the other woman's agitation, but she pressed on. "I need answers, Catherine! You can't just kiss someone, take it back with zero explanation, and expect everything to be okay!"

"I don't, I mean I can't, I mean I- oh for fuck's sake!"

Catherine took two steps forward, took Sara's face in both hands, and pushed their lips together for the second time that night.

This kiss lasted longer. It only took a moment for Sara's body and brain to act together. Her arms circled the smaller woman's waist and she backed up until the door was supporting her weight and she didn't have to worry about her legs turning to jelly. Catherine made little squeaking noises as Sara's lips and tongue played with hers. Those squeaks turned to low moans as the kiss progressed, and Sara happily swallowed them up. Of their own accord, the brunette's hands began to wander, and for a moment, Catherine's sounds and movements were appreciative. Until Sara's thumb grazed the redhead's breast. Catherine froze. Sara felt it as if a chill had run through her own body. She pulled back first.

"What are we doing?" The brunette looked down at her smaller counterpart.

Catherine shook her head, dazed. "I have no clue."

Sara set her jaw, blinking slowly. "Yeah, well. Let me know when you've got it figured out." Without another word, she turned, unlocked the door, and left.

**XXX**

**Don't worry, I'm already writing the next bit! I won't leave you hanging for long, and reviews always get my inspiration going so…review. Yeah, that's all I got for now. ;)**


	10. She What!

07:03

**A/N: Hello, lovelies! It is I once again. So my holiday season was not grand. My job ended, I broke up with my girlfriend, it was my first Christmas without my family, and I was really really sick- like trips to the hospital sick, up until…now. And on top of that, I've been super depressed. So, no writey for Myx Nyx. On the bright side, another birthday has passed, and I am very optimistic about this year.**

**My roomie gave me a season of CSI for my birthday, and it got me thinkin' which got me readin' which got me writin'! So here is an update for ya! It's a little dramatic, but I added in a bunch of comic relief too. As always, let me know how I do. Thanks!**

**-start of update-**

As soon as the door closed behind Sara, the walls closed in on Catherine too. Her brain began to boil. She had to get out of there. Grabbing her keys off the corner of her desk, she swung the door wide and went in search of Gil. Not surprisingly, he was in his office. The door was open.

She shook her keys in her pocket as she approached his desk, filled with nervous energy. "Uh, Gil? Is it still a quiet night out?"

Grissom nodded, not yet looking up from his sandwich. "Possibly the most criminally boring night Las Vegas has ever seen. Jim hasn't even called in to check on open cases. On a weekend too. Maybe the phone line is out or something."

"Yeah…great." She shifted her weight. "Look. Do you mind if I take off for a while?"

Now he did look up, wiping mayo from his mouth with a napkin. "Is there a problem?"

Catherine bit her tongue. "No. Nothing like that."

"You're sure?" Even to Gil's eyes, it was clear she was upset about something.

"Yeah." She waved a hand. "Just a little emotionally drained from this evening, you know."

The man nodded, but Catherine seemed preoccupied and missed it. "Sure, you can go. But keep your cell on- crime waits for no one's high school reunion."

"Yeah…right. Well, I'd better get going…catch ya later, Gil." She headed for the exit and was almost there. As she reached the door, however, she paused and turned back. Grissom was still watching her with a critical eye, but she was so distracted, she didn't seem to notice.

"You know," she gestured with one hand, "just out of curiosity, and on a completely- _completely_ unrelated note, what would you say constitutes workplace sexual harassment?"

Her supervisor stood up quickly, a concerned look crossing his face. "Is someone harassing you, Catherine?"

Seeing the expression on his face, Catherine reached backward for the doorknob once more. _Oops._ "No! No. Not at all. You know," waving him off with both hands now, "it really doesn't matter. I'll just, I'll just be going…"

"But Catherine-"

"Thanks for all your help, Gil! See you tomorrow!" And she was gone.

**-thing that constitutes a page break-**

"Shit." Catherine had grabbed her purse from the locker room and was now crossing the parking lot, her heeled boots clicking on the pavement. Overhead, the thunder rolled and threatened. "You just had to open your mouth, didn't you, Catherine? And now he's going to be suspicious for days, you'll have to come up with some plausible lie to throw him off the scent- what is wrong with you?" _Too many things,_ her inner voice argued. Getting in her car, Catherine slammed on the radio and jammed her car into gear before she sped away from the lab.

More than somewhat distracted, Catherine barely registered when the rain began to sprinkle over her windshield. Automatically, she turned on her wipers and then her lights. What had just happened back there? Had she just…? Yeah, she definitely had. _Idiot. Such an idiot._ "Why am I such a complete spaz?" she spoke aloud, using Lindsey's word. "No, seriously, why?" Coming to a halt at a red light, she looked skyward, as if expecting an answer. "Why do I _do_ this shit? Why can't I just have a _normal _life?"

Driving on, she began to berate herself like she would her teenage daughter. "You're forty-five, you have a job, you have a kid, you have a life! What the fuck are you doing having an identity crisis? You _know_ who you are!" The rain was coming down hard now. "You are Catherine Willows; CSI, mother, woman, _and heterosexual!" _She snorted at her own statement. _Really, Catherine? Are you really? Fuck._ She was so wrapped up in her personal monologue, she failed to see the car in the other lane as she turned onto her road. They honked loudly and barely slid past as her breaks screeched. She rolled her window and shouted angrily.

"Fucking asshole!"

A moment later, she was in her driveway. Grabbing her purse, she exited the SUV. A pace away, however, she stopped. And screamed in frustration. As the rain continued to pour, she threw her bag as hard as she could away from her and screamed again. Turning, she began to kick the tire of the truck, venting her anger and screaming loudly all the while. She kicked the tire, she slapped the windows with both hands. When she finally stopped, her breath came in sharp gasps. She was soaked to the skin, and her tears were mixing with the rain on her cheeks. Wearily, she picked up her purse from where it had landed, and headed for the door.

**-thing that constitutes another page break-**

It was halfway into shift and Nick, Sara and Greg were all corralled in the break room- bored out of their minds. Well, almost. Sara's mind was going about as fast as it could, but she was doing her best to look as bored as either man, attempting to read a fitness magazine from the coffee table. _20 minute workouts you can do in front of the TV. Hmm. Who knew?_

Warrick wandered in, in much the same state of boredom as the other guys. He looked around. "Has anyone seen Catherine?"

At the sound of the other woman's name, Sara's head rocketed up from out of the magazine. The other guys shook their heads, eyes glued to the television. "Nah, man," said Nick. "I haven't seen her all night."

Sara carefully went back to reading SELF magazine, now covertly hanging onto every word.

"Me neither."

"Damn."

"What? You actually find something to do around here besides watch Richard Simmons?"

Greg was entranced by the screen. "How does he get his knees up that high?" He cocked his head to one side. "Do you think that comes in handy in, you know, more than one capacity?"

Nick squinted at the TV. "I dunno, man. But it takes a _very_ secure man to wear shorts that small on national television."

Warrick looked at his friends and then shook his head. Walking over, he turned off the idiot box.

"Hey!" Greg tried to maneuver the remote around the older CSI. "I'm trying to learn how to 'Party off the pounds' here!"

"Yeah? And here I thought you might want to help me on an actual case."

"A case?" That piqued the boys' interest. They stood from the couch.

"Somebody get robbed?" Nick asked hopefully.

"Or shot?" Greg's voice was just a little too excited. "What?" he asked the staring men.

"You're sick, dude."

"Like you weren't thinking it."

Warrick looked over his shoulder. "Sar, you seen Cath tonight?"

Sara flushed slightly and sank lower in her chair. "Nuh-uh."

Warrick frowned, but Greg interrupted his thoughts. "Why do you need Catherine? Need to do a little…" he raised his eyebrows for effect, "reenacting? Maybe it requires a little…_female participation?_"

Nick looked at him in disgust. "You're a little perv, you know that? You do know Cath is old enough to be your mother, right?"

"No she's not! My babysitter sure, but not my mother. Not really. Maybe in Uganda. Besides, you ever heard of a little thing called 'Mrs. Robinson?'"

"Show a little class, Greg."

"I'm just saying…"

"Yeah well, don't."

Greg rolled his eyes. "So. What's the case?"

Warrick was about to explain about the cold case he'd dug out of storage, but at that moment, their supervisor joined them, nose deep in a heavy text.

"Hey Griss!" Warrick intoned. "You seen Catherine?"

"Not since the beginning of shift…" he closed his book. "She went home early."

"What?" Sara looked up suddenly.

"Really?"

"I should have done that." Greg sank back to the couch.

"Yeah, really." Grissom reached for a coffee mug.

Warrick shrugged. "Was she okay?"

Grissom looked up. "No. She seemed really rattled, actually. Did she say anything to you guys?"

The boys shook their heads. "No, why?"

Grissom hesitated then went on. "She asked me what constitutes sexual harassment in the office. Has she mentioned anything like that to you all?"

"She what?" Sara was on her feet, now completely flustered.

The men turned to her. Grissom observed her, curious. "Do you know something about it?"

Sara's eyes went wide. "Me? Noooo. No. Definitely not." The boys were staring at her like she'd lost her mind. _Crap._ "You know what? Going home. Yeah, going home sounds like a good idea. Do you mind, Griss? You can call me back in if something comes up. I just umm…forgot to feed my cat. Yeah, that's it. Okay, good. I'll uh…see y'all later." And she practically sprinted from the room.

The boys watched her departure, mouths agape.

"Uh. That was weird."

"No kidding."

"Something strange is going on around here."

"Maybe it's in the water."

Grissom looked dubiously at his coffee and set it down on the table.

"You know what's really weird?"

"Hmm?"

"Sara doesn't have a cat."

**-one more page break-**

Sara found herself speeding towards Catherine's, paying just enough attention to the road to avoid skidding on the still wet streets. She tried not to think about all of the questions that would be waiting for her when she got back to the lab. As she pulled up outside the house, she took a deep breath. She had told Catherine to come to her when she had figured out what was going on. Well, Catherine was just going to have to figure it out a little faster, because Sara was pushing up the timetable. Jumping out of the car and up the walk, she ran to get out of the rain that was just starting up again. Before she had the chance to turn tail and run, she rang the door bell, and then knocked three times on the door knocker, just for good measure. There was a good minute of silence and Sara was just about to knock again, when she heard a shuffling behind the door and then it opened. There was Catherine, sporting a very convincing 'deer in the headlights' expression.

It was obvious that she had been crying for a while. Sara's heart softened and she offered a weak smile to the other woman.

"Can I come in?"

**-end of update-**

**So? What will happen next? Were the funny bits funny? I was really trying to nail the interaction with the other CSIs down, so tell me if I got it right. I am going to start in on the next update right now, but you know, reviews always make my day! I could use a pick up. X**


	11. I'm Sorry

21:09

**A/N: Ha! How fast was that? And a oneshot in between to boot! I am on FIRE! So thank you oh thank you to you fantastic reviewers for both this **_**and**_** Feisty (which if you haven't read yet, you should- and review too! Yes, I'm shameless). I had a whole bunch of new people and a few regulars. You all rock my socks! **

**So this one is fairly serious and almost all talk. Not only is it longer than the last one, its also considerably more dense. It might end at a bit of an awkward point, but its not a cliffie, and with any luck, you won't have too long to wait.**

**Read!**

**XxxGo!xxX**

Now that she was here, Sara's nerves began to creep back up. She crossed her arms over her chest as she followed Catherine into her living room. She took in the other woman's attire. Long-sleeved, white, knit shirt- three buttons. No bra. Sara swallowed and willed her eyes onward. Red flannel pajama pants with a drawstring. Barefoot. Her mouth twitched slightly, looking at the sky blue-painted toes. She hadn't noticed them earlier that evening. Catherine followed her gaze and gave a nervous chuckle.

"Lindsey picked the color. At our last mother/daughter pedicure."

Sara nodded, not sure where to start.

"Would you like some coffee?" Catherine pointed over her shoulder. "I was just about to make a pot anyway."

Sara nodded again. "Sure. You need help?"

"You can come pick your mug."

Catherine turned towards the kitchen, and Sara noticed that there were two rather large pink and white hearts on the rear end of her pajamas. As if she had realized the same thing, Catherine nonchalantly tried to pull her shirt down over her pants as she walked, but it just rose up again as soon as she released it. Sara couldn't help but smirk, amused in spite of herself.

"How'd you get off work so early?" Catherine asked casually as they entered the kitchen, "Still a pretty slow night?"

"Glaciers move faster," Sara said, glad to have this minute of small talk before the 'real' conversation started. She leaned against the counter and watched Catherine go through the motions of preparing the coffee. "I uh, just told Griss I had to take off and he could call me in if he needed me."

Catherine nodded, leaning against the opposite counter as the coffee brewed. "That's what I told him too."

Sara raised her eyebrows. "Before or after you asked him about sexual harassment?"

The older woman dropped her head to her chest. "Tell me he didn't."

"Told the whole team."

Cath shook her head. "That man."

"I think he was just worried about you. What possessed you to ask him that?"

"I wasn't thinking straight." She laughed darkly. "I wasn't doing anything _straight._"

The brunette frowned. "Does me being a woman really bother you that much?"

Catherine didn't answer right away. Instead she turned to see if the coffee was done. Then she lifted two mugs from the cabinet asking, "Is Charlie Brown okay? I've also got Snoopy and Linus if you want. Lindsey broke Lucy ages ago and I'm always Woodstock."

"Sure. That's fine."

The redhead busied herself, taking the cream from the fridge and then replacing it. "I don't have any Splenda, do you mind real sugar?"

"Just uh," she licked her dry lips, "just not too much."

Finally, Catherine turned to her, gave her a quick smile, and handed off the coffee mug. "Why don't we talk in the living room?" Careful not to overbalance Woodstock, she headed for the sofa and Sara followed.

Taking a seat beside the older woman, Sara sipped her coffee and, finding it a bit too hot for liking, set it down. Catherine did the same. She looked at Sara anxiously, expectantly. Sara nodded, understanding that the other woman didn't know where to start. What she really wanted to know was how Catherine felt about her. Why had she kissed her? Did she care for her? Did she want something more? What was it? But by the expression on her face, Sara doubted Catherine was ready to answer those questions. So she started with something else.

"Tell me about Julie. Tell me why you ran."

The older woman studied her from under knitted brows, biting her lip all the while.

"Nothing we say leaves this room, Catherine. You have my word."

Catherine nodded and exhaled, thinking before she began. "Julie." Her focus drifted into the middle distance as she remembered. "Julie was my best friend. Since forever. I don't even remember when we met. We had always been inseparable. As kids, we liked to do all the same things. Our moms would take us to the town pool in the summers. During the year we went to each other's houses everyday after school. Baked cookies, had slumber parties, just played and played for hours. As we got older, we just…got older. Started to become different people. But we were still best friends. We got into so much trouble," Catherine laughed lightly. "Julie would talk about when we grew up. All the big things we would do. I was always in awe of her bravery. Don't get me wrong, I was brave too, but different. I was sure of myself but never of my future, of my goals. But Julie. She was just so sure, you know? We were going to get out of that town and make something of ourselves, and no matter what, we would always be together." That quieted the older woman for a moment.

Sara wanted to reach out to reassure her, but she didn't know how such a gesture would be received. She settled for taking another sip of her coffee and waiting for the story to continue.

Catherine also stopped to drink. She swallowed hard. She had never admitted this part to anyone. She had talked about Julie with her dancing buddies, but she had always laughed it off. Chocked it up to 'experimenting.' With the woman beside her, however, she knew she'd have to tell the truth.

"I started dating John when I was fourteen. He liked me…that way. He was a good guy and everybody expected me to go out with him. At first, Julie didn't mind being the third wheel, but after a while, it started to bother her. And I wanted to be with her more too, but between school and track and John, there just seemed to be less and less time to be together. Eventually- towards the end of our sophomore year, Julie confessed that she didn't like John, or any of my track friends. She said she was tired of being the weird artsy kid in the group. If I wanted to stay her friend, then we could only see each other away from them." Catherine shook her head. "And I was so headstrong, so stupid. I just cast her aside. I told her that John and the team were my new life and if she didn't understand that then she could just fuck off. And she did. Just left me. Not that I didn't deserve it, but…I don't know. I guess I never really thought she'd do it." Catherine's eyes glazed over and her expression saddened. Sara had the sudden urge to hug her, but once again she resisted. "For the rest of the school year we hardly talked at all. We would pass in the halls. Me surrounded by my new friends, and Julie by herself or a few of the drama/music kids. The looks she would give me. Like I had betrayed her- so angry and so hurt…I felt like the biggest bitch. And the worst part was that I missed her. I missed her _so_ much. I would go out to movies with John or as big group and I would just feel like this shell of a person without her there. Like it was someone else making out in the back of the theatre or smoking outside the convenience store. I _hated_ it."

Sara could see that Catherine's hands were shaking now where they cupped her mug, and her voice had gone tight and watery. Gently, the brunette took the quaking mug and placed it on the table. Then she took the fragile hands in her own and waited. Catherine didn't seem to notice.

"When school let out, it was just parties all the time- bonfires and nights out at the lake. I had a lot of older friends and I was popular by association with John and through my track wins, so I got invited. Julie didn't. Not that she would have gone. She always went her own way." Catherine wiped at her lower lids, trying to prevent the inevitable. "This one night, barely into the summer, I was at a party on the school field. Completely trashed- not unusual by that point. I was just trying to drown her out. Or drown me out. Either way. John and I were getting hot and heavy under the bleachers and it was really late. There was a raid. Somebody who lived close to the school had called the cops on us- disturbing the peace and all that. We all flipped and ran every which way. John and I got separated and I somehow ended up in the faculty parking lot alone." She rolled her teary eyes. "God, I was stupid. There was this guy there. Drew. He had graduated a couple of years ahead of me. He'd been at the party. In those days, if you didn't get married or leave town after high school, or if you didn't work the ranches, there wasn't much to do but hang around and…not change. So he was there, and if he couldn't tell I was three sheets to the wind, then he was even dumber than he looked. I didn't like him. He told me to hide in his truck and I just sort of laughed at him. 'Sure, Sparky. I'll get in your truck.' But I was in no condition to go anywhere else, so I just stood there for a bit. Talking. We smoked and he asked me about school. A lot of kids didn't finish back then. Especially girls. I told him I was going to finish. I wanted to tell him about Julie's plans. About college and then traveling and getting famous. He would have laughed in my face. And besides, Julie hated me."

Sara sipped at her coffee to find it had gone cold while she was listening. Catherine had not looked at her since she began, but their hands were still entwined. Sara had a feeling she knew where this story was headed and her grip tightened on the other woman encouragingly.

"I started to sober up a little. Decided I better get going and look for my friends. Well big surprise, Drew didn't like that idea one bit. He…uh, he slammed me up against his truck. He licked my face and neck. Started telling me it was time I learned what a real man felt like. His hands were all over me. I screamed and he tried to cover my mouth, but he wasn't that sober either. He missed and I bit him as hard as I could on his wrist. Bastard. I could taste his blood on my teeth and feel it on my chin as I ran. It was everywhere. I kicked off my sandals and just ran- really earned my track medals that night." She laughed darkly and Sara closed her eyes against the hollow sound. "I lived way out on the fringe of town. Everywhere was closed. I didn't have money for the payphone. Julie. Julie was the only one I could think to go to. Those other girls, they weren't my real friends- I would have been so embarrassed, and who knows how they would have reacted. And I knew I couldn't go to John. But Julie. I knew she would make everything okay. I ran the whole way to her house- at least two miles, barefoot, and I just about collapsed on her doorstep, sobbing and shaking. I was a real wreck. Her parents were home, but she was the one that answered the door. I hadn't knocked, but she'd somehow known I was out there. I can just imagine how I looked. Covered in his blood, clothes all torn, feet shredded- and wearing John's pin to boot. But she just pulled me up. Shielded me from her parents and took me straight to the bathroom and locked the door. She only asked me one question. No explanation needed, didn't waste breath asking if I was okay. Just one question. Who. Who had done this. I told her.

"She left me there. Got her camera. Came back and…photographed the evidence, basically. Then she undressed me and washed me. It wasn't sexual. I just couldn't do it by myself, I was so out of it. She gave me pajamas- her favorite Pink Floyd t-shirt, I remember. And just put me to bed. She held me all night and took care of me all the next day. She left at one point. To develop her photos and go to the police, I found out later. It was the seventies. Rape charges, even just assault charges…" she shrugged, "It was hard to make them stick. Even with the pictures, he was never convicted. My word against his. But at least the whole town knew what a creep he was. Nobody trusted him after that. I don't know what Julie told my mother, because she didn't come looking for me that day, or the next. The third night…" Here, Catherine paused and her hands began to shake anew. Sara thought she might stop, but she just took a deep breath and pushed on, "We were up late talking under the covers. I had apologized so many times over those last couple days, but she wouldn't even here of it. I guess she got annoyed with me saying it so much because she finally asked me why. Why was I so sorry? And I told her. Because I loved her. And then…I…kissed her." Her voice was faint now, and Sara bent closer to hear. "I don't even know why it even occurred to me to do that. I was a back country kid, a product of my upbringing. I'd never even heard of lesbians. But when I kissed her…it was just…peaceful. And yet exciting and thrilling. And she kissed me back. Didn't hesitate an instant. Didn't question me or anything. Just took me in her arms and…made love to me. And I let her. She made me go weak. I couldn't have fought her if I'd wanted to. But I didn't. I…I never wanted her to stop."

At last Catherine seemed to notice their joined hands, and for the first time since she began talking, she looked Sara in the eye, her tears free falling now. "For the next six weeks, we spent every minute together. I didn't break up with John, but I barely saw him. Julie and I spent all the days laughing and playing like we used to. And every night in each other's arms. It was almost perfect. Almost. But I…_I_ was the problem. As the summer started to wind down, I got more and more nervous. It was one thing to do whatever it was we were doing when we could escape our responsibilities and everyone else. But what about when school started? I had it so good, you know? Most girls would have killed to be where I was. Decent grades, the 'perfect' friends, dating the hottest guy in school. If I gave that up to hang out with Julie, I'd be a social outcast. But I couldn't go back to ignoring her either. I was so confused. And there was Julie. Still with all her plans for us. Telling me we would make it through this and escape some day. But I couldn't see it. My father's- well, the man I thought was my father, his family had lived and died in that town for generations. How could there be a way out for me? I didn't know what to do. And it wasn't like there was a place where we could go and actually be accepted. Not that I knew of. Being with Julie meant a life of hiding and exile. Life without Julie meant staying in Montana. With John and all of the people I grew up with. There was no way out. Accept…to run. So I did. Packed my track bag, stole all the money my parents had in the house, and walked the six miles in the dark to the bus station. Straight to Bozeman and then the Greyhound all the way to Las Vegas. My mother used to talked about it like it was some Mecca. And I thought _Uncle _Sam might give me a job. Which he did. As a waitress at first. Found me a place to live with some of his girls. After a few weeks I sent a postcard to Julie. It just said…I'm sorry." She had gone back to watching their hands, but as she finished, she looked up once more. Trying to read the face in front of her. She didn't get the chance because an instant later, she was enveloped in a strong, caring embrace.

**XxxUntilNextTimexxX**

**So you're proud of me, right? I mean, all that dialogue in only **_**10**__**days**_**? Not to mention the comic relief of **_**Feisty.**_** Not bad, eh? And the only way to encourage me to go even faster? REVIEW!**


	12. Damn You!

18:22

**A/N: I'm baaaaaaack! Sorry it took so long- though not as long as it could have. A big thank you to the few people that did review the last chapter. For those of you who didn't (and you know who you are), well, here's your chance to make it up to me! I've slaved over this update for weeks, trying to make it the best it could possibly be. Hope you enjoy.**

**XxxReadySetRead!xxX**

It was long minutes before the women finally pulled apart. Uncharacteristically, it was Sara who was first to extend a reassuring hand. She gingerly brushed her fingertips over the other woman's shoulder.

"I guess you're really not the caged bird type, are you?" The trite question was tempered by a soft smile.

Catherine shook her head, her voice was a little shaky. "I don't do well when I'm trapped- and I really was trapped. If I stayed there with John, my life was already written. After graduation we'd get married and I would spend the rest of my life taking care of his kids and preparing his meals. Its not a bad life, he's a great guy, but it wasn't for me."

"And Julie?"

"Julie," Catherine exhaled the name and shook her head. "I was trapped there too. She had all of these plans for us. We were going to run away together and start a band, we would be famous and live on the beach. Together forever. But, Sara, I wasn't ready for forever. Not with a man, not with a woman, not with anyone. Everyone wanted a piece of me that I wasn't ready to give. I loved John. He was a good kid- but he wasn't the one for me. And Julie…maybe she could have been, maybe we could have made it. But I was scared- I'm still scared, honestly."

Unconsciously, Sara moved her hand to the other woman's knee. "Why? Cath, what are you so afraid of?"

Catherine looked up at Sara with sad, confused eyes. Beautiful eyes. "I don't know. When I saw John last night, it was…nice, he was nice. We just picked up where we'd left off and we still had that great chemistry we'd always had, after all these years. And Julie. She's so different, but in some ways she's exactly the same. I look at her and I miss everything we had…I wonder if we could have that again."

Sara shut her eyes in disappointment. For a single second, she allowed a wave of self-pity to wash over her. Then she was squaring her shoulders and speaking the words she'd been thinking all night. "But you kissed me."

Catherine sat back a little.

"Twice."

"I know." The older woman's voice was tight with hesitation and uncertainty.

"Why?"

"You…you were so wonderful tonight. You cared about me, you made me feel…" She looked away. "When you look at me I know that I don't have to be anyone but myself. That you see _me_. People have always wanted something from me, even the ones that loved me. But not you."

"No."

Abruptly, Catherine was on her feet, pacing just beyond the coffee table. Arms crossed protectively over her chest, she met the brunette's eyes with a wet but defiant glare, "What do you _want_, damn you? Didn't you want me to kiss you?"

Sara's temper flared and all of a sudden she was standing too. She stepped around the coffee table in a single stride, bringing them face to face. "That's why you kissed me? Because you thought I _wanted_ you to?"

Catherine's voice got louder, accusing, "Did you?"

"It doesn't matter, Catherine! You don't kiss people because of what they want, you kiss them because of what you want. Didn't anyone ever tell you that?"

The redhead shook her head and looked down, "No, they didn't."

"So you kissed John to what? To make him happy?" Sara's temper was definitely on the rise now. She'd had just about enough. "What about Eddie? Did you love him when he was shoving his tongue down your throat?"

A tear slipped down Catherine's cheek and she backed up a pace, "I thought he loved me."

"And Julie? What about Julie, Catherine? Did you really love her?"

The smaller woman's head snapped up. Tears were free falling now. "Yes, I did! Okay? Yes! I loved her. I _loved_ her! I loved her and she loved me and I got scared and I fucked it up. Just like I fucked _this_ up, just like I fuck _everything_ up!"

"This?" The brunette stopped short. It was her turn to be confused, "You fucked this up?"

"Sara, I'm sorry. I'm sorry if I crossed the line." Sara moved toward the other woman, but Catherine held her off with a gesture. "No, you are my friend and I took advantage of that. I was out of line." She took a deep breath and looked up with liquid eyes. "I just thought…I don't know. When I'm with you…I try to be someone you'd want. I want you to like me."

"Catherine, I like you." Sara took a step forward. "I like you," she repeated softly.

Catherine sighed dramatically, looking away as she wiped at a stray tear. "This just isn't my day, is it?" She met the other woman's gaze with a hard eye. "I _know_ you like me, okay? I don't mean it like that, I mean-"

"I know what you mean." Sara stepped closer. "I like you."

"No, you're not getting it. I don't mean 'like' as in friend 'like.' I mean more than that. I mean-"

"I get it! I know what you mean!" Sara took Catherine's face in her hands, forcing her to look into her eyes. "I. Like. You."

The redhead exhaled slowly, her eyes a bit glazed. "Really?"

"Really, really."

"So…you did want me to kiss you?"

Sara released the other woman's face, tilting her head to one side. "Well, yeah, you know. I mean, I'm not sure I would have chosen that exact _moment_, but yeah, I-" The brunette's babbling was silenced by the sensation of warm lips on hers. Catherine was kissing her. And kissing her hard.

And the next thing she knew, the smaller woman's hands were on her shoulders, feverishly gripping and releasing her, holding her frame close. Sara's eyes closed of their own accord and she wrapped the redhead in her arms, lifting her ever so slightly up on her toes. For long moments, their lips were pushed together savagely. When the need to breathe overwhelmed them, they separated only to collide again a second later, with a little more grace this time. Soon Sara was setting the other woman on her feet once more, backing her against the nearest wall, a door frame actually, and dominating the kiss. Catherine's lips yielded to the pressures of hers and she couldn't prevent the escape of a ragged breath. She didn't try. Holding onto the other woman's forearms now, she took her lower lip between her teeth and tugged gently. Catherine gasped, draping her arms around Sara's neck and pulling her tight against her. Their hips met, their breasts brushed through their clothing, and both women arched into the feeling. Sara hummed softly; Catherine gave a contented sigh.

Sara's mind was on autopilot. Somewhere in the depths of her brain, thoughts of protest rang out. _Talk! Talk first! _But with every second she spent pressed against this woman, those voices seemed further and further away. It just felt too good. Her hands moved from Catherine's arms to her hips and then to her waist. Her thumbs rested comfortably over the smaller woman's ribcage, feeling it expand and contract deeply under her touch. Her fingernails scratched playfully when Catherine brought one foot up to link around her knee. Now Catherine was the one humming her appreciation whileher hands were dipping under the back of Sara's collar, caressing the skin of her back.

_Is this actually happening? _Sara couldn't quite believe it.

But it had to be true- Catherine was kissing with fervor, dipping her tongue in to taste her. "Sara…Sara?" Her whisper was questioning.

"Hmm?" Sara thrust her tongue out to tangle with the other woman's. For a minute, it seemed that Catherine had forgotten how to speak or what she was going to say. All she could do was mimic Sara's actions and before long, her hips were grinding up against the brunette's. But eventually, she regained a little control. A little.

"Will you…?" She eyed the kiss swollen lips before her and brought their mouths together yet again. "I want you to…" But she couldn't get it out.

Finally, Sara pulled back, still more than comfortable in their warm embrace. "What is it, Cath?"

Catherine searched brown eyes for any shadow of hesitation. Not seeing any, she bravely spoke, "Come upstairs." She brought their faces to within an inch of each other. Her breath played over the brunette's lips.

"Make love with me."

Sara sucked in her breath. How long had she waited for those words, knowing they would never come? And now they hung in the air, shimmering, ghosting over her own lips and replacing the quaking in her chest with a dull pounding. She studied the blue eyes before her. "Are you sure that's what you want?"

"Yes."

It was a resolute answer, but Sara still pressed. "Are you sure that's what you'll want…in the morning?"

"I…" Catherine wanted to say, '_YES!'_ She wanted to take away all the uncertainty she saw in Sara's gaze. But she faltered. She didn't want to lose Sara, but she also knew that the words she spoke needed to be the truth. "I don't know, Sar. I don't know what tomorrow is going to bring. I hope so- _God, _I hope so. I know I don't want you to go, I know this feels right. I know that I want you. Right here. Right now. But I can't promise anything more than that…and this; the only thing I'll ever regret about tonight is if you leave here and I haven't shown you how you make me feel. Please. Come upstairs with me."

Sara felt the small surge of disappointment, and a part of her wanted nothing more than to bolt. A part of her was shouting for attention, _'Bad idea! Terrible idea! Worst. Idea. Ever!'_ A part of her wanted to stop this before it got out of hand.

But not a very big part.

A deep breath cleared any second thoughts she may have had. Wordlessly dropping her hand into the smaller one beside hers, she nodded.

Catherine showed her the way and before long they were behind closed doors and staring into each other's eyes again, preparing themselves for what was to come.

Sara had the sudden urge to tell the woman in front of her that she loved her. Her heart thundered in her ears. Love. She'd never attached that word to it until now. Attracted to, yes. Cared for, certainly. Magnetically drawn to, absolutely. But love? _Love? _Yes. Love. A part of her was relieved that she had finally realized. Another part of her also realized that while this moment would traditionally be a very good one for such an amorous declaration, in this instance, it was a terribly inconvenient epiphany to be having. Catherine had just said it herself- 'I don't know what tomorrow will bring.' _And I choose now to fall in love with her? Great, Sara. That's really great._ But looking into those warm eyes and seeing the slow-burning fire that flashed and crackled there- the heat she knew was there just for her, she couldn't help but think, _who wouldn't fall in love with her? _To keep herself from opening her mouth and ruining the silence, she lifted a hand to cradle the redhead's face. Her thumb followed the defined line of the other woman's jaw down to her chin and back again.

_Like a sculptor's hands,_ Catherine thought. _She touches me so…reverently. Like I'm some magnificent creation. Not breakable, but almost…unearthly._ And it was true. Sara watched her own fingertips trace over the veins in Catherine's neck. This feeling. This feeling she had right now was like nothing she'd ever felt before. Powerful. Terrified but determined- desperate yet steady and sure. It was as if she had always done things for this reason or that, because people told her to, or because they didn't. But touching Catherine, kissing Catherine, _making love_ with Catherine. This was where she was supposed to be. There was nothing else she'd rather be doing. Right here. Right now.

**XxxEndScenexxX**

**Okay, so the next chapter is already kicking ass- and you are going to want to read it as soon as possible, I can promise you. Now, I'm not saying 'review or pay the price!' I mean, would I really do that to you? Hold the super sexy sex chapter hostage for a few measly reviews? Would I do that? Would I? **

**You bet your ass I would.**

**Review! Bring my average up from the all time low count of last update! **


	13. Oh Catherine, Oh Sara!

02/26/2012

**A/N: Yes! I am victorious! I have written SEX! With any luck, I have captured its very essence in these pages! All readers should know that I have the hardest freaking time with sex scenes- I mean, I'm by no means a virginal sex ignoramus (not that there is anything wrong with that), but having sex and writing sex? Very different in my book. Or at least…my short story. SO. I'm sorry for the horrifically long absence on this and most of my open fics. Thank you so much for the reviews over this last year. I'll work hard to earn them this time around.**

**A big shout out must be given to CSIBarbie for her incomparable advice, inspirational updates, and general fantastic-ness. When you have finished reading and reviewing this, you must go and read and review all of her stuff too! Mention my name and get a free (imaginary) t-shirt.**

**Now, without further ado, for your reading pleasure, I give you…Cara sex!**

**!yumyumyum!**

Sara's heart was pounding, she could feel it pressing in on her lungs, making her breath come shallow and quick. She felt she might blow a fuse at any second. And Catherine hadn't even touched her yet.

The redhead was in much the same condition. Sara's fingertips had ghosted reverently down her neck and over the exposed skin of her chest above her top. They had fallen away just above her breasts and Catherine thought she might collapse if her knees grew any weaker.

For long moments each searched the other's eyes, neither finding hesitation, only anticipation. Sara's hands itched at her sides- longing to seek out the soft, sinuous flesh she knew must lay beneath that troublesome layer of clothing. But it was Catherine who closed the distance between them first, her hands moving to play with the hem of Sara's shirt even as her face tilted, questing for the kiss-hungry lips above her. They found her, immediately connecting, fitting so flawlessly with hers. Now Sara brought her arms up and around, imprisoning a very willing captive in her grasp. Lipping, tasting, delving into each other like newly discovered gold, their kissing rapidly became more frenzied. Soon, Catherine's hands had penetrated the barrier of Sara's top and were inching their way upward. But the feeling of the smaller woman's hands on her only served to remind Sara that she could be doing some exploring of her own. In no time, Catherine's shirt was decorating the floor and before long, Sara's was cast alongside. Catherine's lack of bra was a very welcome surprise, and earned a small groan from the brunette. Sara's hands came up, but stopped scant inches below the other woman's breasts. Catherine caught the hesitation.

"What?" she whispered. As if talking at full volume would somehow ruin the moment.

Peeling her gaze away from the newly exposed skin, Sara looked up into gleaming blue eyes and…words failed her. She wanted to say something romantic, something about beauty and magnificence and splendor, but nothing seemed quite right. Shaking her head, she closed the distance between them and brought her hands up to palm the redhead's smooth and pliant flesh. "Catherine…"

The emotion in her voice said it all.

The smaller woman moved to cup Sara's face, crashing their lips together as she shut her eyes tight. Even as the brunette drew circles around swollen nipples and returned the kiss with equal fervor, the other woman was backing them up until her legs hit the bed. She fell back, bringing most of Sara with her- though her feet stayed on the ground. It was an awkward angle, bent over the bed as she was, but it was all she could manage with Catherine's hands now extended out and reaching for the zipper of her pants.

As her pants inched down to her knees and she kicked them to the ground, Sara would have liked to be able to say she gracefully pressed her weight against the smaller woman, but that would have been an outrageous lie. Tripping over her own eager feet, she had to throw her arms out to catch herself. One hand safely reached Egyptian cotton sheets, but the other landed carelessly in strawberry hair, yanking it in the wrong direction.

"Ow!" Catherine complained about her hair and the wind knocked from her lungs at Sara's clumsy descent.

"Shit, sorry." Sara rearranged herself more comfortably.

Catherine laughed, craning her neck until she spoke into the brunette's lips. "I could really care less." Her hands slid over the arch of the other woman's back. She tugged at Sara's bra and her head fell back, exasperated. "_Please_ get naked."

Sara just smirked, looking her dead in the eye. "You first."

It was hard to tell who actually won that race, but in a matter of seconds both women were stripped bare and pressed against each other, squirming in an effort to get as close as possible. In the hurry to get undressed, their positions had switched, and it was Catherine who was now on top. Sara caught the glimmer of a victorious smile in the dim light. Outside, the rain began once more and the windows quaked in protest at the sudden gale. As the rivulets of rainwater raced down the glass, Catherine bent forward to let her hair cascade over the brunette's bare chest. Sara's jaw dropped open. How could such a light touch be so damn electric? When the redhead's lips descended on her breasts, nipping, licking, kissing, Sara dropped her head back and groaned. Her hands gripped frenetically at the other woman's hips; the reach of her nails eliciting a sharp gasp and deep chuckle. Catherine settled her weight more firmly along the woman shifting beneath her, focusing her attention on first one stiff nipple and then the other. Slowly, she began rocking her apex against Sara's own, trembling when Sara eagerly thrust up to meet her.

It was in neither woman's nature to be a passive partner and, before long, Sara's hands were hard at work, worshipping the goddess above her. Her fingertips looped and swirled over every curve and slope of Catherine's body. In the back of her mind was the knowledge that this wasn't likely to be a repeat event, so she put it all to memory. The teasing touches were setting Catherine ablaze and soon it was all she could do to keep from grinding herself to orgasm right then and there. She moved one hand between their bodies, at first only as barrier between herself and imminent climax. But when Sara noticed and eagerly spread her legs in response, Catherine could not resist moving lower and testing the slick heat she discovered waiting for her.

"Catherine…" The brunette drew out the name as she felt first the tentative swipes of one exploring digit and then the much more purposeful and confident push of two, filling her, sating that hunger that begins deep within. For a full ten seconds, neither woman moved. Not a sound was heard above the torrent outside, even though chests rose and fell heavily. Then, they moved as one. Sara's hips propelled upward to meet Catherine's thrusts. She moaned and then gasped when her clit was simultaneously stimulated.

"Yes…" Her eyes shut tight as she hissed her pleasure.

Catherine bit her lip as she watched the woman beneath her. Did she have any idea how sexy she was…? No. She probably had no idea. God, she could get used to this though. The brunette quivered like a resonating instrument and Catherine felt her inner walls tighten around her fingers. Sara was close. For a moment, the older woman contemplated slowing down. Making this last. But…

"Cath…" Sara pleaded. She reached up with one hand and tugged at Catherine's neck until the older woman's lips came crashing against hers. Her hips began to buck in earnest, and Catherine was lost. She rolled her thumb over Sara's clit, thrusting deeply with her fingers, moving faster, adding a twisting motion she always found so pleasurable on herself.

Sara cried out and her hips jolted up once, twice, and then held perfectly still as her eyes fluttered close. The veins in her neck were tensed. It was several seconds before she exhaled deeply and let her lower body rest against the sheets. Catherine sat back and heavily lidded brown orbs met blue. For a moment, they were hazy and a contented smile ghosted over the brunette's features. Fingertips brushed the older woman's cheek. Catherine smiled too. Then, as a thought occurred to her, Sara's eyes focused once more and her questing hand moved more deliberately down the sweat-gleaming body above her. She pulled on the redhead's wrist. "Come here."

Catherine willingly obliged. She kissed the younger woman sweetly, pulling away and then coming back to tease her lips with a fleeting swipe of her tongue. But the tables turned when one of Sara's hands snuck up to pinch at an unsuspecting nipple. Catherine yelped. "Sara!" she jumped a bit and laughed her surprise. It was just the distraction Sara needed to flip the smaller woman on her back and come out on top. It was her turn to grin now, and her expression was nothing but predatory.

"Can I help you, Ms. Willows?" she whispered in the other woman's ear. For a moment, Catherine fought the new position until Sara met her eyes once more and stopped her with a look. Catherine quaked with desire as she watched those dark, determined eyes. Sara bent to the redhead's pulse point, enveloping the soft flesh there in a liquid, hot embrace. God. Catherine's scent was _intoxicating_. The brunette settled down to mold her body completely with the woman beneath her. She slipped a leg between Catherine's thighs and moaned when she discovered the wetness there. For her part, Catherine was in heaven. She wrapped an ankle around the firm calf between her own, sliding it up and down encouragingly.

When she'd finished worshipping Catherine's neck, Sara pushed up on one hand and moved down to rain adoration and kisses over the smaller woman's breasts and abdomen. She pressed her own abdomen into Catherine's slick heat and smiled when the hips beneath her bucked suddenly.

"Sara…" her voice was deepened by desire. _Oh, god. _"Ah! Sara!"

It was all so…surreal. The woman writhing beneath her, Sara thought, was…Catherine. As in Catherine, the woman of her dreams. The woman who had been plaguing her thoughts and fantasies for years. And she was shivering at Sara's touch, all but begging her for more. And she looked so amazing like that. Shamelessly moving her hips, gripping the sheets in search of any kind of leverage. Just…wow.

Lost in thought, Sara's gaze traveled over the swell of the other woman's breasts and up to her ravished lips, rose-tinted cheeks, and lust-clouded sapphire eyes. The brunette's movements slowed and those eyes widened and managed to meet hers. Catherine bit her lip and reached a hand to tangle in Sara's hair. Sara's eyes shut tight and she placed a loving kiss just above the triangle of trimmed strawberry curls. Then she met blue eyes once more as she slid further down and positioned her palms against the backs of Catherine's thighs. Pushing gently, she urged the redhead to bend her knees. Her lover readily complied, her head dropping to the pillow when she felt warm breath against her heat. "Sar- ah! Ah!" She cried out when, without hesitation, an eager tongue tasted her for the first time.

Sara hummed her approval, the purring in her chest not unlike a revving engine. "Catherine…" she whispered, before returning to the task at hand.

She circled the redhead's clit a few times before moving lower to find her entrance. Catherine began to mutter Sara's name like a mantra. Before long, she was squirming and bucking beneath the brunette, crying out when Sara substituted two fingers for her tongue and brought her mouth up to focus full attention on Catherine's throbbing center. The smaller woman began to crest as Sara became almost tidal in her motions of ebb and thrust. Never had Catherine's body been read so expertly and all too soon the steady stream of 'Sara's spouting from Catherine grew louder until a wordless shout erupted loudest of all. "Ah!"

Her hips still moved as she rode out her climax. Sara slowly brought her down until her fingers stilled and she kissed the inside of the older woman's thigh. She felt another hand in her hair and looked up. Glittering eyes met her and pressure on the back of her neck invited her upward. She moved swiftly so she could pull Catherine into her arms and kiss her soundly. Catherine returned the kiss passionately, smiling all the while. "Wow," she whispered when the pulled apart. "Sara…just…wow."

Sara grinned at her for a long moment before first confusion and then worry moved over her features. "Umm…do you want me to-"

"Stay?" Catherine interrupted before she could finish. "Yes." Her voice was confident and sure. "Yes, I do."

Sara searched her new lover's eyes and found them shining with nothing but truth and adoration. She relaxed.

"Will you?"

"Yes." Sara smiled, kissed her sweetly, and pulled the covers up over them. Catherine glanced down to the end of the bed and giggled playfully at the two sets of toes there. "Your feet are enormous."

Sara looked down. "No they're not. Your feet are just tiny. You have miniscule little fairy feet." She laughed as Catherine shoved her playfully.

"I am a size six and a half, I'll have you know!"

"I rest my case."

"That's a whole size and a half bigger than my mom and half a size bigger than my sister."

"Are there leprechauns in your family? Because it might explain everyone's diminutive stature and baby feet."

"That is so mean! Short people are very sensitive, you know. And no, we're not leprechauns."

Sara shrugged, smirking. "Are you sure? The fire-crotch has to come from somewhere."

Catherine gasped in mock shock. "I can't believe you just called me that! She began to push the brunette again. "Get out of my bed right this instant!"

Sara laughed and easily thwarted the smaller woman's blows. "Oh, come on!" She reached a hand under the covers. "It's really cute."

Catherine slapped the other woman's hand away. "_Cute?"_

"Come on, let me see." She struggled to pull the blankets away from them.

"No way! You're never getting a peek at anything below these covers again! Out I say! Out of my bed!"

"_Please?"_ Sara pouted.

"No."

"Please?"

But Catherine turned her back in a huff. "Nope."

Sara scooted closer, wrapping her arms around the struggling smaller woman. "What if said…not cute? What if I said…sexy?"

Catherine stopped squirming, but she still didn't turn around. She shook her head. "No way."

Sara pulled herself until she was pressed up against the redhead and whispered huskily in ear, "What if I said _damn_ sexy?"

"Mmm…nooo," said Catherine, but it was more of a whine.

Sara's right hand slithered down from its place on the smaller woman's abdomen, down into those wet, lush, red curls. "What if said-"

But Catherine had turned in her arms and pulled them flush. She gazed at the brunette for a moment before shaking her head and rolling her eyes. "Just shut up and kiss me."

"Yes, ma'am!" Sara growled and covered the redhead's body with her own.

**!delicious…right?**

**Well! What did you think? How did I do? I cannot explain how under confident I am about writing sex scenes, so you really have to review and reassure me (or not review if you think it sucked). Plus, no cliffie and longest update to date! How nice is that? Come on now…review!**


	14. Time

05/17/2012

**A/N: Baaack! By popular demand! And better than ever! Thanks so much to all my awesome reviewers! You guys have really kept me going the last few months and I am very excited to present you with this brand new update!**

**Special thanks must be given to CSIBarbie and everybody who PMed asking for a new chapter. Here at last! I would recommend to everyone who hasn't read recently, that you go back and reread at least the last chapter before this one, if not the last couple- just to get yourself back into the rhythm of things. Worked for me! I was just rereading and suddenly I was inspired to write!**

**Hope everybody is grrrreat! Now read on!**

**CSICSICSICSI**

That morning, Sara woke up alone. Her arm had lazily made its way across the bed to ensnare a certain lovely and naked redhead, but stopped short when there was nothing but sheets and blankets. Sara lifted herself up to look. Nope. No Catherine. In an instant, all of her uncertainties returned full force. God, why had she even stayed the night? Anything was better than this. But…Catherine had asked her to. She had kissed her neck and burrowed into her and whispered for her to stay. Sara checked the clock. Had she really only been asleep for four hours? She shut her eyes against the light. Slowly, lead in her veins, she pushed herself up into a sitting position. Opening her eyes, she looked down. And there it was; a note on the other pillow in Catherine's lovely scrawl.

_Sara-_

_If you wake up, I've gone for a drive to clear my head, should be back by 7:30. Please don't leave. Make yourself comfortable and I'll be back soon._

_Yours,_

_Catherine_

_Yours._ _She said 'yours.' Is she really mine?_ Hope surged through her as she checked the clock again. 7:18. In the distance, she could hear the sweet sounds of a coffee grinder. Catherine was back! She jumped up, threw on her slacks and tank top, then moved to the bathroom to brush her teeth. After arranging Cath's toothbrush to look as unborrowed as possible, she left the bedroom and headed for downstairs. Pulling her hair through an elastic, she stepped, barefoot, through to the kitchen. No Catherine. She did, however, spot the coffee pot. _Well, she did say 'make yourself comfortable'. _Retrieving last night's mug, she rinsed it out and then filled it afresh, adding milk from the fridge and a little sugar from its canister on the counter. Turning out of the kitchen, she stared out the sliding door to the backyard. She had just noticed the old swing set when she heard a giggle from behind her.

"'Morning, Sunshine."

Sara spun at the voice, her coffee sloshing slightly.

Familiar blue eyes danced under amused eyebrows. Blonde eyebrows. Lindsey made no effort to hide her smile behind her own cup of coffee. "Have a nice night?" She giggled again.

Sara's eyes bulged. _Oh, shit._ "Lindsey." It was a statement of fact. "Uh…I…umm, what are you doing here?"

The teenager rolled her eyes. "_I_ live here. I think a much more interesting question would be, 'what are _you_ doing here?'"

"Me? Oh, well… see…" _Funny story, see, there was some kissing and nakedness and…your mom, and…_

Just then there was the sound of a door closing, soon followed by a voice, "I smell coffee!"

_Oh, thank God._

Lindsey grinned. "Ooo, saved by the bell, Sara."

Catherine came into the room and froze. _Oh, shit._ "Lindsey."

"That is my name."

"What are you doing here?"

The girl sagged her shoulders dramatically. "I _live_ here!"

"But why hasn't Nancy come to pick you up for school?"

Lindsey gave her the 'you've got to be kidding' look. "School? Mom? It's Sunday."

"Sunday?"

"Yes. Yesterday was Saturday, and tomorrow will be Monday, so that makes the day in between, Sunday."

"Right." Catherine turned to Sara, searching her eyes. "Hey." Her voice was soft. "How are you?"

The brunette came out of her shock, sort of, and cleared her throat. "Oh, you know…fine."

"Good." Catherine swung back to look at her daughter. Well, there was no point in beating around the bush, and she'd always sworn she'd be honest with her daughter. "How much did you hear?"

"Way too much."

"Really?"

"Yeah, well, you weren't exactly quiet. Woke me up with your shouting downstairs. The making out part was sort of sweet, in a way. But everything after that was just sickening. '_Oh, Sara! Oh, Sara!_" she mimicked then rolled her eyes. "I mean seriously. Did you miss the memo? Old people are not allowed to have sex. It should be against the law or something."

Catherine and Sara wore matching stunned expressions. "You heard that?"

"Oh, yeah. But it wasn't until the bed started hitting the wall over and over and _over_," she shuddered, "that I was truly grossed out. When that started, I stuck my fingers in my ears and hid under my pillow until I fell asleep. _So_ disturbing."

"So, uh, are you…mad?" Catherine asked. Lindsey didn't seem mad. For a teenaged girl, she actually seemed to be in a fairly good mood. Still, she could just be pretending.

"Mad? Uh-uh. No. Why would I be mad? I am pretty disgusted though, that's for sure. Definitely scarred for life."

Catherine was incredulous. "You're not…? I mean, what about…?" She gestured vaguely in Sara's direction. "_That_ doesn't _bother_ you?"

"What, Sara? Mom, get over yourself, you're not the first lesbian on the planet."

At this, Sara snorted and Catherine blushed.

That made Lindsey smile. "Mom, look. It's fine. Sara is pretty cool compared to your loser boyfriends. _And_ she actually likes you, which is always a plus. Besides, I've sort of suspected you might be crushing on her for a while. Call it a gut feeling. I just didn't say anything because I didn't want to have the 'understanding Mom's sexuality' talk. I still don't. If you ask me, I'd rather you date Sara than some gross guy who treats you like crap."

"You would?"

"Sure. I love you, Mom." She leaned over, hugged her mother, and kissed her cheek. "Look, since everybody's awake, I'm going upstairs to try and erase the horrific sounds of your hanky-panky from my brain with some loud music. After that, I'm walking to Ally's to hang out and maybe study for our history test tomorrow. I suggest you use the time to talk amongst yourselves and get some actual _sleep._ If I have to come home to a repeat performance of 'Oh, Sara, Oh, Catherine,' I will actually puke- and I will bang on your door until you stop. Sound like a plan?"

Slightly stunned, both women nodded.

"Great. Catch you later." As soon as she had disappeared up the stairs, silence prevailed.

Sara took a seat at the breakfast table and hid behind her coffee cup, watching as Catherine carefully avoided looking in her direction, dropping her purse onto a chair and going to pour herself a cup. Sara tried to gather her thoughts. Catherine was bound to be feeling vulnerable. Even without the encounter with Lindsey, she had a lot on her plate. Yes, she was the one who had initiated the events of the night before, but she was also the one who had lay herself bare, emotionally speaking. She was the one who had thrown heterosexuality to the wind and outed herself (albeit misguidedly) to all those people and, despite knowing it would be really awkward, she was the one who had begged Sara to stay until morning. Obviously, she wanted to talk about it. Wanted to have her say. But where did Sara stand? Well, she knew where she stood. She was head over heels for the woman pulling out the chair beside her. Setting her coffee down on the table. Unzipping her sweatshirt only to zip it up halfway again. Did Sara want to let Catherine lead the conversation? Give her the chance to excuse it all away or express feelings of doubt and confusion? Without honestly expressing how she felt? Not really. Maybe it was more gallant to let Catherine call the shots, but as the redhead opened her mouth to speak, Sara made a decision.

"Sara, last night was-"

"Incredible."

The brunette's insistent tone and word choice caught Catherine by surprise and she looked up, eyes wide.

Sara met her stare for stare. "No, listen. I know you need to have your say, Cath. And you can. Just let me say this first." With a quiet nod of ascent from the older woman, Sara took a deep breath. "As far as I'm concerned, last night was perfect. And I want you to know that I'm not expecting anything from you that you don't want to give. But last night was…perfect. And truthfully, I'd wanted it for a long time."

That confession drew an intake of breath from across the table, but Sara plowed on.

"You are…an amazing person. _Amazing_. And just as beautiful to me this morning as you were yesterday and the day before and every day for the last seven years. And…I will be here in whatever capacity you need me to be. As a lover, if you'll let me, and as a friend, if that's what you want. I know you have a lot to think about. But I don't regret anything. And I'll be here. Whatever you decide." She gave a soft smile and finally looked away.

So did Catherine, inspecting her coffee mug for a long moment. "Gee," she said, smiling crookedly. "That's got to be the best post one-night-stand speech a girl ever heard."

Sara went tight-lipped and Catherine realized how that must have sounded. She instantly held up a hand.

"No, Sara. That's not what I meant. Shit. Sorry. Can I start again?"

Warily, the brunette nodded.

"I just meant…thank you. And…you're right. I do have a lot to think about. I'm a little freaked out, to be honest. But not about last night. Last night was…" She trailed off and then braced herself, and told the truth, "probably the best night of my life. The you and me part, I mean. And I could never regret it."

"But?" Sara prompted after a pause.

"But…" Catherine continued. "I don't know what that means in daylight. Waking up next to you really was perfect. It felt more natural than anything. I'd almost hoped it wouldn't. But I think, deep down, I've known it would be for a long time." Her eyes were almost sad when she glanced at the other woman. It was an intense moment.

"Cath?"

"Hmm?"

"What do you need from me?"

"Besides telling me what I've been doing with my life and what I should do with the rest of it?" Catherine gave a nervous smile.

Sara returned it. "Besides that." Her eyes were kind.

"Time." Came the reply.

Sara nodded. "I can do that."

They quietly finished their coffees, each lost in their own silent contemplation. All too soon, the mugs were empty and Sara knew it was time to go. To prolong the inevitable, she stood and walked her own mug to the sink and washed it. When she turned, Catherine was standing in the doorway, watching her thoughtfully.

"I guess I'll leave you to it. To your…time."

Catherine nodded wordlessly and spun to see the brunette out. They both moved slowly, drawing out the seconds it took to cross the house. Sara picked her keys up from the hall table as Catherine opened the door and leaned against it. Sara faced her.

"I'll…see you at work."

Catherine nodded again.

"It's my night off, so…Monday?"

Another nod.

"Okay." Sara squeezed the other woman's arm gently. "B-" The word was lost as her lips were seized in a swift, firm kiss.

Pulling back, Catherine licked her own lips, staring up into the brunette's eyes. "Bye, Sara."

It was Sara's turn to nod before she spun, and strode down the walk.

**CSICSICSICSI**

**Well there you have it! Where will we go from here? And WHEN? That greatly depends on you and your spectacular reviews! By the way, everyone should get an account because while I love all reviewers, I can only respond to the ones with accounts! If you want a reply to any questions, you need to sign up! Ready? Set? Review!**


	15. Getting Things In Order

**A/N: SHE LIVES! Hello, my beauties! I can't believe it, I'm actually back! It only took me waaaaaaayyy too freaking long, but I actually finished an update! **

**I wanted to give a special thanks to everyone who kept reading and reviewing and everyone who private messaged me their support during this incredibly long absence! With any luck, my newfound inspiration will be in long supply and we will all live to see many an update once more! Also, big shout out to kwmadhouse7 for her ongoing support!**

**I would recommend everyone reread at least the last chapter before this one since its been so very long between updates, but of course its up to you!**

**-Thing That Constitutes A Page Break-**

Closing the door after Sara, Catherine was sorely tempted to crawl back into bed and never leave. But she knew she couldn't. Instead, she showered, dressed in sweats and sat down to her computer. Logging on to her Facebook, she clicked the button to send a private message.

'_I'd like to see you before you leave town. Message me.'_

Looking up, she found her daughter standing in the doorway. She gave a tired smile. "Hey, baby."

"Hey, Mom."

Seeing the shoulder bag strapped across her daughter's chest, she asked, "Heading over to Ally's?"

Lindsey nodded.

"Text me if you go anywhere else, okay?"

"Sure. Hey, Mom?"

Catherine raised her eyebrows.

"You're not getting cold feet, are you? About Sara?"

The redhead worried her lip. "I don't know, why?"

Lindsey shrugged. "I just…I really like her. I don't want either of you to get hurt, and if you don't want to be with her, I get it, but I've seen you guys together and…she's good for you. I want you to be happy with someone again and Sara…she really cares about you, you know?"

Catherine nodded, touched and a little surprised by her daughter's insightful comments. _She's growing up, _Catherine realized. "And it really doesn't bother you? That she's a woman?"

Lindsey gave her an odd look. "Of course not. You always taught me that it doesn't matter who you love- as long as you love with all your heart. Does it bother you?"

Catherine frowned and then looked to her lap. "Honestly? It did, at first."

"Why?"

The older woman shook her head. "I don't know. I think…I guess its just hard to think you know yourself- to be so sure you're one way, and then find out you're another. When you're sixteen, you're just really discovering who you are for the first time, Linds. Its okay to make mistakes and experiment. But when you're forty-five?"

"You mean forty-four and three quarters?"

Catherine smiled. "Its just harder to admit your mistakes."

Lindsey looked thoughtful at that. "I don't know, Mom. Maybe it wasn't a mistake. Maybe you are who you are until you're ready to be something different. And it doesn't matter how old you are. When you're ready; you're ready."

Catherine Willows thought about that and was once again struck by how grown up her daughter seemed. She held out her arms and Lindsey walked into them. "I love you, smart girl." She kissed the blonde's temple.

"I love you too, Mom." Lindsey squeezed her mother tight. When she pulled back, they were both a little teary-eyed. "I'll see you later?"

Catherine nodded and sniffed. "You bet."

When Lindsey had gone, Catherine set about cleaning the house, making a shopping list- anything to keep herself occupied. Entering the laundry room, she looked around and was met with a sea of Sara's clothes, sheets, and towels. She had completely forgotten they were there and apparently so had Sara. Sighing, she moved to empty the dryer and changed the loads over. Carrying a load of clean clothes to an empty basket, she inhaled deeply- trying to smell Sara on them. But all she got was the scent of dryer sheets. Annoyed with herself, she punched the buttons on the washer with unnecessary vigor and stomped out of the room. Going back to her computer, she checked her Facebook. Nothing.

Even more frustrated and with nothing else to do, she went upstairs, intending to get another couple hours of sleep. She had just lay down when the phone rang. It was her sister, calling to confirm lunch on Wednesday and to tell her that Jeremy had heard back from UNLV about his lacrosse scholarship.

"How are you doing, Cathy? You sound tired."

"Yeah, you know, fine…tired, but fine…"

By the time she'd hung up, Catherine no longer felt like sleeping. Getting up and straightening her wrinkled top, she returned to her computer. One new message in her inbox- and it had just come in.

'_I'm free until 6, where should we meet?'_

Catherine quickly typed in her address and added, '_As soon as you can.'_

Sighing, she ran a hand through her hair and then hurried upstairs to change.

Half an hour later and downstairs again, she was dressed in black jeans and a simple gray top. She hoped her light make-up and uncurled hair gave her an unstudied, casual look. She was prowling the living room like something caged, rehearsing in her mind what she was going to say. She was just coming to the conclusion that she might have to wing it, when the doorbell rang. Padding deliberately down the hall, she tried to remain calm. Taking a deep breath, she opened the door and met with curious blue-green eyes.

"Julie."

"Hey, Cathy."

After a moment, Catherine pulled the door back, "Come on in…"

Julie came stepped inside with hunched shoulders and her hands in the pockets of her vest. She looked around, "Nice house- you own it?"

Catherine smiled tightly, "Paid off for two years now. Would you like a drink? Coffee's made."

Julie shook her head, "No, thanks. I don't drink caffeine."

"Water? Orange juice?"

"I'm fine."

Catherine nodded and swept a hand toward the living room. She followed Julie in and sat down on the sofa. Julie sat on the edge of an armchair.

"So…" Catherine let the word hang in the air. There was an awkward silence and Julie stared at her expectantly. She was sorely tempted to break in to small talk- discuss the weather, work; anything, but she wouldn't allow herself to put what off what needed to be said for a moment longer. She took a deep breath, held it, and let it go. "Julie…I owe you an apology. I think we both know its long overdue, and it may not change much, but still. I owe you an apology."

Julie seemed faintly surprised. "I thought you called me here because you were angry about last night."

Catherine nodded her head. "I did. And I am. But last night wouldn't have happened if I had apologized a long time ago."

For a moment, Julie seemed speechless. Then her expression changed. "What exactly are you apologizing for?"

_Deep breaths, Catherine, deep breaths._ "For leaving without an explanation. For leaving you there. I know it was a long time ago and maybe it doesn't matter anymore but-"

"Doesn't matter anymore?" Julie's eyes were like ice. "Cathy, you left me there! Alone! For two years, I was completely alone! I freaked, I cracked- I was ostracized. Nobody would talk to me, everyone blamed me for the disappearance of America's Sweetheart! You were gone and I was alone. I thought you loved me. I thought what we had meant something. I thought we would always be together. I thought-"

"You thought, you thought! We were sixteen!" Catherine clenched her teeth, "Sixteen!" she repeated. "We didn't know shit! Stuck in that town! We were kids!"

"I would have taken you away from there! I would have found us a place. We could have made it, Cathy! That love was a forever kind of love!"

About to vehemently deny it out of instinct, Catherine suddenly stopped short. A realization welled up inside her. _A forever kind of love?_ A wave of clarity rushed over her and she shut her eyes. "No, it wasn't. Not for me." _A forever kind of love?_ "Not the way you wanted." She blinked tears away. "I'm sorry, Jules."

Julie faltered. "I thought you loved me."

Catherine met her eyes. "I did."

"But?"

"But I wasn't ready. I wasn't ready to be who you wanted. I wasn't ready for how much you loved me."

Julie clenched her jaw. "You could have just said that. I would have waited. You didn't have to leave."

"I didn't know how! I was afraid! I was a kid!"

"So was I! But I could have said it to your face."

Catherine glared.

Julie glared.

Catherine broke first. "Jules, we wouldn't have made it."

"You _don't_ know that."

The redhead nodded, "I do."

"How?"

"Because the way I felt about you? It was new, it was exciting. But it was puppy love- first love. It _wasn't_ forever love. I didn't realize it until just now, but what I felt for you wouldn't have lasted. I know that now. It wasn't like what I feel for-"

"Sara." Julie finished. She wilted back into her chair.

Catherine hesitated and then nodded. "She loves me, Jules. And I love her. It took me a long time to find it and come to terms with it, but this…this is the real thing."

Silence stretched.

"I'm sorry I hurt you, Julie. But we've both got to let it go. Its in the past."

Julie nodded. She stood and looked at the photos on the mantelpiece. "Is this your daughter?" She stood in front of an old picture day photo of Lindsey. "She looks just like you."

Catherine stood next to her. "Lindsey. She's sixteen now."

Julie snorted, "What a terrible age."

Catherine thought about it and smiled. "You know, I think she's going to come through it just fine. She's got a good head on her shoulders."

Julie looked at her watch. "I'd better get going. My plane is at eight. If I hurry, I can get out to the desert for a few more shots." She mimed taking a photo.

"You're not staying for the reception tomorrow morning?"

The blonde shook her head and sighed. "I don't give a shit about those people." She looked up. "I came here for you, Cathy." She shrugged at the stunned look on Catherine's face. "After I saw you with Sara, I booked an earlier flight home. I know when I'm beat."

Catherine smiled weakly. "Thanks." She wanted to hug her former love in that moment, but she held back. Instead, she walked Julie to the door and held it open. "Give me a call if you're ever in Vegas again?"

The blonde's expression said she didn't think that was likely to happen, but she nodded, "Sure…Have a nice life, Cathy."

"You too, Jules." Catherine didn't watch Julie go to her car, she didn't wait until she'd pulled away. She closed the door and leaned against it, sighing with relief. A weight she'd carried for most of her life silently lifted. She shut her eyes and smiled.

**-End O Chapter-**

**A little short I know, but that was a good stopping point. What did you guys think? I know I've been a naughty updater, but a few supportive reviews would definitely not go amiss! Until next time!**


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